Bust A Move(ment)
**DISCLAIMER** This post will contain material that might be considered offensive to: anyone eating, the weak-stomached, etc. Please continue reading at your own risk...
Here in TGTBTU land I live with 3 young men. 3 healthy young men. I've learned a lot from these fella's. Things like; persons of the opposite sex will actually openly flirt with a guy who hasn't brused his teeth in 3 days, the art of setting your ass ablaze while sticking a lighter to your bum during a fart, and regardless of the imbalance of their daily diet (i.e. atleast two of them never and I mean never eat a green vegetable) they have the ability to discard human waste in apocalyptic proportions. I am about to elaborate on the last example...
On Thanksgiving day we had a little plumbing problem in the central bathroom, this bathroom is the largest one and the one the young men use 99.9% of the time. Because there were no hardware stores open we were unable to purchase the necessary parts to make the minor repair. So, we just decided that we'd shut off the water and make our guests aware that they'd have to use the smaller bathroom located in the master bedroom. This was no problemo for any of us, but my husband made some sort of 'cutesy' remark in passing regarding the resident young men using our bathroom until their's was repaired. It went something like this; "turn off the water and move the plunger to our bathroom." I didn't realize the brilliance of that remark until later in the evening.
The oldest of the 3 came to our room around 8 p.m. needing to use the facilities, that act only took minutes followed by 10 minutes of plunging. The youngest of the 3 entered our domain a little over an hour later announcing his 'need'. His deposit took the better part of 20 minutes to clear. What the h...
The man and I are, well, *ahem* perfectly regular but we've never once in our two years here had the need for a plunger in that bathroom. Yet in the course of two hours our toilet had been violated, TWICE!
Is this just an 'age thing'? As mentioned above they don't eat even close to their RDA of fiber or fruits & veggies, so how is this possible? And if it is what will happen if their colon one day rebels against them? I forsee an abdominal lockdown of epic proportions!
I think our household plumbing is counting down the days until these 3 find another throne.
posted by: LadyG (reply)
post date: 11.29.07 (12:17 am)
LOL Free, apparently theses young men get enough fiber without eating vegetables,youth and exercise is probably enough for them.
posted by: fractalmom (reply)
post date: 11.29.07 (5:54 am)
um. well YEAH. I was raised with three brothers and had only one son. I think it is linked to the rising testosterone levels LOL. My son was a frequent friend of the plunger. Even to the point I would find myself standing in the plumbing department looking carefully at the sanitary (then, before use) plungers, weighing carefully the pro's and con's of each design, thinking, will THIS one work better than THAT one. ***sigh***
Then, finally in defeat, I went to the local hardware store and bought a new toilet, one that was NOT water conserving, one that was NOT eco friendly, and one that used over 5 gallons per flush. Problem mostly solved.
The new eco friendly toilets are not very boy friendly. They seem to manufacture immense, well, to put it briefly, they really ARE full of shit.
posted by: mimi (reply)
post date: 11.29.07 (8:15 am)
yup, they are just full of shit! three sons later, i can attest to that! LOLOLOL!
posted by: bawdy (reply)
post date: 11.29.07 (11:42 am)
I'd be more concerned if it was stuck inside them rather than the toilet!
posted by: rosietulips (reply)
post date: 11.29.07 (12:40 pm)
I don't even own a plunger!
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 11.29.07 (8:14 pm)
Reply to: LadyG
I'm thinking there must be some sort of laxative in the frying oil McDonalds uses, lol.
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 11.29.07 (8:16 pm)
Reply to: fractalmom
LOL@you and the toilets!! Heh, we have already planned to buy another toilet for that bathroom! I guess we probably should have come to this revelation a few years earlier, huh? lol
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 11.29.07 (8:22 pm)
Reply to: mimi
Ahhhh so you know my pain, huh? lol And yes, they are most certainly full of it!!
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 11.29.07 (8:26 pm)
Reply to: bawdy
Well I plan on overdosing on Metamucil here in a few years and visiting each of them as all Hell breaks loose! lol
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 11.29.07 (8:28 pm)
Reply to: rosietulips
Just remember this if you ever have boys, because this starts at a relatively early age--I remember my son doing the same thing as young as age 9. I told my Mom it was hard to believe that a little body like that could dispose of such! lol
posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 11.30.07 (4:58 pm)
You've reached a new low with subject matter for a blog. My only complaint is that you wrote such a blog before me. I spent a few months working as a janitor, and can tell you that women have a much more messy public bathroom than men! I would bribe my associates to get them to do that area of the job.
posted by: froggie (reply)
post date: 11.30.07 (8:07 pm)
Gosh! I never thought about it before, but I've had to do the deed (gag!!) more than a time or two.
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 11.30.07 (8:13 pm)
Ehhh, I can top that. LOL
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 11.30.07 (9:23 pm)
Reply to: PastorDave
"You're preaching to the choir" here Pastor! I did commercial cleaning for several years when my daughter was young--I saw things in BOTH male and female bathrooms (the worst was a local 'sewing factory') that quite literally made me shiver. I would have to agree with you though, the women take the prize!
As for reaching a new low... this my life... it ain't pretty, lol.
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 11.30.07 (9:24 pm)
Reply to: froggie
You've got two boys, right? I fear you probably will be doing it for years to come! lol
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 11.30.07 (9:25 pm)
Reply to: eraserhead667
I'm sure my boys would love to hear the story! heh
posted by: PastorDave (reply)
post date: 11.30.07 (9:35 pm)
Reply to: FinalyFree
Just kidding, you know! I always enjoy reading your blog- even when you start talking about being church secretary and working with a contrary pastor.
posted by: eraserhead667 (reply)
post date: 12.01.07 (7:20 am)
Reply to: FinalyFree
Well, just imagine spending 8 days driving around southern California living on carnitas burritos and energy drinks... :)
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 12.01.07 (11:05 am)
Reply to: PastorDave
Oh I absolutely know you were kidding, Pastor :)
Aren't all pastor's a little contrary? lol
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 12.01.07 (11:06 am)
Reply to: eraserhead667
Ok that made my stomach cringe just reading it, can't imagine living it! LOL
posted by: surrogate (reply)
post date: 12.01.07 (6:31 pm)
How the hell did I miss this post.
Wait let me rephrase that...
Why the hell didn't I miss this post?
Um... yuck?
Make those boys eat some friggen' oatmeal.
posted by: FinalyFree (reply)
post date: 12.02.07 (7:19 pm)
Reply to: surrogate
Question is, why in the world would you
ever miss a post? lol I've been paying you good
money to stop by and comment and now, to find this out, makes a girl wonder!!
;)
posted by: routanne (reply)
post date: 12.09.07 (8:57 pm)
They are not smart enough to know of "The coutrasy flush!" I have huge shits myself, and if I did flush at least once in the middle of my business, I too would be a clogger.
posted by: ggirl (reply)
post date: 12.11.07 (11:28 am)
Neither my husband nor my stepson ever had this problem. If my little boy husky had to flush, though, we'd be in big trouble. I'm constantly finding fabric in his poop.

