Is It Just Me?
Case in point: my best friend’s Mother bought her 5 gifts for Christmas, all 5 of them were things that she (a) could not use, i.e. clothing much too large or (b) a gift that she’d not be caught dead in, i.e. gaudy costume jewelry. This whole scenario is not a new thing for my friend, she’s been receiving and returning gifts for many years (I did much of the same before my Mother passed away). This year I think my friend had just had enough, her feelings were hurt that the woman that had given birth to her that she sees on a very regular basis gave gifts that essentially said, “I really don’t know who you are, and I don’t really care.” The friend felt as though her Mom had not put much thought into the gifts and had more than likely picked them up at the last minute.
The friend called me sobbing on December 26th as she was driving home from returning the gifts, it was obvious she was hurt and I felt bad for her. I tried my best to downplay the feelings of bitterness but then had to stop myself because I have long said that our generation of parents (those in the age bracket mentioned above) were extremely self-centered. I’d experienced it in my own family and had seen it many times in the lives of my friends.
My own Mother taught me the beauty of giving and charity—yet she had a damn hard time loaning me 20 bucks when I was broke. As a matter of fact when she did loan me money she’d be calling me on payday wanting to know when I’d remit what she was due. This was the same woman that gave to no less than 5 evangelists—never knowing exactly what her money was going to. I never understood how she could do that. I’d never expected her to ‘support’ me or my kids but it sure stung to know she could give her money to a perfect stranger with a heart full of love and charity but couldn’t to her own child. This is just a small sampling of the selfishness I have felt. Understand I am not excusing my Father, he’s almost exactly the same way, and it’s been a life-long behavior for all of them.
It’s not only money issues, the undeniable selfishness spills over into almost every aspect of their lives. My girlfriend says to me on the phone, “so why are we not that way?” and my only theory is that we’ve lived with this all of our lives and we try very, very hard to be completely the opposite. It all makes me wonder if I’m not twisting my own children in a totally different way?
As a child of the ‘80’s—t he self-proclaimed ‘Me Generation’—am I the only one that recognizes this trend? I’d love some feedback!
Scrooge-Proof
**BLUUUURRRRRRR**
Yep, that was me!
Everything is just crazy wild here. Are you running yourself ragged like me? Don't get me wrong, it's actually pretty fun. But there's just so much to do--I feel like it's been years since I even visited here, much less posted.
And now to end this very short post let me put a little "It's a Wonderful Life" spin on things: for any of my faithful readers you already know I don't have the best of relationships with my step-sons, right? Well yesterday I went shopping for a needy family at church we'd taken up money for--it was a long day in Knoxville searching for the one and only elusive toy one of these children had asked for. Anyhoo, my step-sons Mother had come through with plane tickets at the last minute to visit her over the holidays *read all our plans had to be changed because of it. The boys are flying out today so we decided to let them open their gifts last night when I got home. After all the presents were opened and the living room was a wreck I suggested that my husband open a gift I had gotten him--one of only two I've got wrapped. After he opened it my oldest step-son says, "Ok now you open one Shannon" I quickly told him I didn't have any gifts under the tree--a fact that didn't bother me in the least because I knew my husband had been working so much overtime he'd just not had the opportunity to wrap them--and plus I already knew what they were! My oldest step-son's reply was, "well it's not right that everybody has something and you don't." I really thought that was the end of it. Afterwards the boys asked if they could go fishing for a little while at their Dad's pond. We told them yes since we've known for years night fishing was one of their favorite things. I heard them when they came home but promptly went back to sleep. This morning when we woke up the house was spotless, and there was a brand new set of Tuscan-style everyday dishes and glassware on the kitchen table complete with flatware, placemats and even fruit in the big bamboo platter that sits empty in the center of it. Yes those boys had gone to Super Wal-Mart and bought this stuff for me and their Dad because they felt bad that we didn't get the kind of gifts they did!
Talk about making you feel like crap! I had a huge lump in my throat as I stood in the kitchen doorway looking at all their hard work. I now know there is hope for them, I know at their core they have the potential to be loving, caring men.
Now before you get all warm and tingly I have to add in the fact that they busted one of my semi-new big SUV tires on my car. *sigh* Any other time I would have pitched one heck of a fit for their carlessness but I just couldn't bring myself to do it today.
Merry Christmas to all of you dear people :)
Naughty or Nice?
What do you want for Christmas this year? Whether it be a gift from your family, significant other, or even yourself…what is it you really want this year? And I am speaking in a strictly materialistic, realistic manner—we’d all love to have ‘World peace’ and I’d love to have my Mother here this year, but those things probably aren’t going to happen, so…
You’ve seen all the Christmas flyers, you’ve seen the news reports of new video game systems flying off the shelves, what is it you’d like to have?
Nielsen Rantings
A co-worker of mine brought me a big stack of magazines the other day, pretty recent stuff tied in twine. Most were Southern Living and Good Housekeeping-both things I don’t mind reading. One of the issues of GH had a picture of Tom Cruise on the front, I had deliberately not looked at that issues since I currently think Mr. Cruise is several fries short of a Happy Meal. Last night I was bored and decided to read that particular issue—can’t get enough of him gushing over his young bride Kate…ya, right. I was a little disappointed that the article was not in the typical question/answer form. You know where the writer’s questions are in bold print with the guest answers below, this format just seems much easier to read especially when you’re skimming the article.
Cruise spent the first half of the article reflecting on his outlandish behavior of late. I wouldn’t say excuses for it, rather just his reasoning for it, i.e. this is the single greatest love story known to man—I think I puked a little at this point. From there he recanted his career—more fluff, then he talked of his past marriages and how they paled in comparison to his new one, being mindful to wish all his ex’s just as much success as he’d had in finding the perfect mate. From there he went on to his children, his newest and his two adopted children from wife #2. I’ll give credit where credit is due and say that I admired his candor regarding adoption and the fact that he’d never considered himself any less of a father to an adopted child as a biological child. He then began to detail the lives of his older children, the fact that they are homeschooled (got a boat-load of issues with this one but I’ll save that for another time), that they are never, ever, allowed to watch television but can read most anything they’d like. Reading is paramount in the Cruise household—and admirable thing I suppose. Here’s where I take offense…
I realize there is much on television that is not fit for viewing but to make a blanket statement that everything on television is a waste of time fit only for rotting the minds of our youth is way, way off base. Television viewing, like the majority of things children do, should be supervised. I agree that no child should sit in front of a TV for hours on end, but with a little effort and research there are some wonderful programming available. And let’s face it, every child is different—of the two I gave birth to, one despised television as a toddler, the other loved it but would have much rather been outside playing. I had to make the call when enough was enough or when the programs were not suitable. I’ll be honest the whole “my children aren’t allowed to watch TV” mantra seems a bit smug and self-righteous—to me. Television can be a great learning tool; case in point—my son and I sat down for some TV time last week, it was late afternoon when the regular viewing schedule is primarily talk shows and old sitcom re-runs. We watched an episode of Yes, Dear—a personal favorite that is safe for teenagers to watch. We laughed hysterically the entire half hour, then we flipped over to the National Geographic channel and watched the remainder of a documentary about the little ice age, A fascinating piece that I tracked down to a rebroadcast and watched in its entirety…with my son. We both loved it. We both learned from it. Can’t we consider this a positive thing?
Too many parents are so concerned about what their children might view on television they completely miss the potential. Yes, it takes time and yes, it’s often a battle because this generation of children are much more high-tech than we were/are, they demand more stimulation be it on television or otherwise. As I finished reading the GH piece I wondered if either of Tom’s kids owned an Ipod or an Xbox? I’m guessing they probably do, but it just sounds so much more politically self righteous to denounce television, he sees no harm in those kinds of thing, or heaven forbid, the INTERNET!
It’s easy to figure out that I think Tom Cruise has become one major pompous ass with a raging Napoleon complex. I could care less how much of a model parent he sees himself as being—time will certainly tell in this. But I would like for him to consider the fact that television revenue from rebroadcasts of his work—his chosen profession-- has helped to support his family. Instead of making the rest of us feel bad because our children do enjoy television, be grateful there are still people out there interested in watching you jump around on Oprah’s couch. Take a few minutes and research the programming available Tom, you might just enjoy it.
Make Mine Vinyl
Isn't funny how certain things trigger our memory banks? I'm at work now, alone--this big, empty church is scary to some. There's all kinds of strange noises that used to un-nerve me but now it's almost like a comfort. Odd, huh?
Anyhoo...back to the walk down memory lane. Here at church I sometime listen to the radio but when I'm here alone I listen to LaunchCast radio on my Yahoo Messenger--I like the 'big hit of the 70's' station. Today has been chock-full of good, moldy oldies! A couple of James Taylor's and even Hall and Oates doing 'Rich Girl'--one of my favs. Just now the familiar strains of Barry Manilow's 'Mandy' came on. Yes, I am a Fanilow I have been since a teenager and as I was singing along when I remembered that 'Mandy' was the first 45 single I ever bought. I took my 98 cents to the downtown Redford's Five & Dime and purchased it. I must have played it no less than 100 times that day. The mere thought of owning vinyl these days seems much like having a pterodactyl for a pet, but in those days a young girl was often judged by the number of 45's she owned. One of those round, canister carriers were a must--you know the one that had the handle on top that turned opening up to the cylinder of 45's inside. Mine was school-bus yellow.
At my Mother's house there's still a good number of my LP's--my children love looking through them, but the 45's are long since gone. I'm not really sure what happened to them, oh I know a fair number were broken. There were always several casualities at slumber parties and like all vinyl, there were just so many scatches that could be accumulated before the record became unplayable--I did have friends that kept the little paper sleeve that their 45's came in and they would carefully replace the record into it's paper dressing after each use. I'm sure these are the same people that never cut their baby doll's hair. Every doll, baby or otherwise, I owned sported the Dorthy Hamill 'wedge' and my 45's never went back into the paper.
