The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

My family and I are in Columbus, Georgia for my oldest step-sons graduation from Army Basic Training. Much has changed with the military since my ex-husband was doing the same thing over 20 years ago. It seems the military is a little easier now on new soldiers, which surprised me a little. We've had a good visit and are seriously thinking about leaving tomorrow morning and driving on down to Panama City, Fla. it's about a 3 hour trip and I would love to spend some time beachside. But I really don't need to spend the money...what to do, what to do?

We're staying at a Quality Inn here, nice place, good free hot breakfast every morning and it's clean, to say nothing of the free use of computers and pool table. We've been here since Tuesday and have enjoyed the city for the most part, it's taken us awhile to learn our way around. But, there is one slight drawback--if you can even call it a drawback. I really don't know how to say this, in fact maybe I shouldn't say it at all--but atleast 75% of the guests here are of Arab decent. I know this shouldn't bother me, but it does. Our 'family' group numbers about 23, last night over half of us sat poolside and enjoyed a few cocktails--there were two tables of other guests, yes all Arab, there too. They of course were speaking their native tongue, which makes me a little nervous, and they watched every move we made, which made me more than a little nervous. After a bit they brought out a hookah pipe that fascinated the adults and kids of the group. Before I started to write this post I had to 'google' something, when I began to type in my search the little address line dropped down to show recent searches, absolutely everything was either in Arabic or dealing with an Arabic topic. Why does this bother me? Should this bother me? I pride myself in being very understanding and accepting but where this is concerned I feel very biased and judgemental. This bothers me on different levels, but mostly because I don't feel all that guilty/bad for having these feelings.

Feedback?

The cool wind blew through the car like a whisper. A delicate whisper, it was there, I could feel just a hint of it--Fall. I looked out over the soccer and baseball fields at the row of Bradford pear trees billowing in the breeze. Most of them were still dressed in vibrant green leaves while a few were sporting growing patches of brown. I thought back to how many times I'd watched those trees loose their green overcoats only to be replaced by a stark, bare, nothingness. This is the grounds of my High School alma mater.

Today I am picking up my son, the once gap-toothed toddler who loved his Mother more than anyone. I start to think back about my own days in this place, barely audible in the background over the rap music and laughter I can hear the marching band practicing and the 'slap' of football pads making contact in the afternoon practice session. I look out over the crowds of teenagers in the parking lot--they don't look much differently than the ones in my mind's eye do. They are different though. There's a look of maturity in their eyes--a different kind of maturity that was seen in the early '80's.

These young adults worry about a lot of the same things we once did; illegal drugs, getting pregnant, failing classes, etc. In the '80s we worried about how we'd earn our first million, or when the Iran hostages would be released, or what we were wearing to the Homecoming dance. Today, as the school's homecoming game approaches I see in those mature eyes worry about one of their classmates coming to school armed with guns and a big chip on their shoulder, I see them worrying about terrorism, and of course, what they're going to wear to the Homecoming dance.

I've heard the old adage,  'the more things change, the more they stay the same ' , for most of my life--and while the core is true, many times the more things change the more radically they change. All of this makes me wonder what I'll be able to see in the eyes of my grandchildren? Or my great-grandchildren?

I'll sit in that same parking lot again this afternoon and many more before my duty there is done. I look back on those times as some of the best of my life, before and after parenthood and wish for a simpler time--if there is such a thing.

Yes I have been AWOL! Last Monday all the men in the house were stricken with a horrid stomach/flu bug. High fevers, gallons of Clorox, and what seemed like thousands of popsicles were the order of the day(s). I managed fine until Wed. and then BOOM, it hit me like a freight train. Combined with all their symptoms I had a nasty head cold that soon traveled South to my lungs. Ended in the hospital Thursday, but luckily only with bronchitis--no pneumonia--thankfully.

I apologize for not answering my comments but will very soon, perhaps tonight. This is my first day back at work and am just trying to keep my head above water, lol. I hope everyone is doing well and I look forward to catching up reading all the blogs.

Peace and good health :)

Damn I wish there were some "Big Brother" fans around here!!

Yes I know it's a stupid reality show--but I like it and I don't care who knows and wants to ridicule me for it.

It's times like these I really miss JennJr. A lot.

What do you miss?

My Mother died a year ago today. I wish I had something poingnant to say, or atleast taken the time to write some sappy poem in rembrance--but I don't. The confusion I still feel is like a raging case of poision ivy--so aggravating, refusing to go un-noticed, and spreading all over my body. I am not bitter, I am indifferent--which I think may be worse.

Perhaps I can post something a little more clear and heartfelt later...