The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

For the last several months each morning as I applied my coat of bondo for the day--also known as make-up, I've noticed new, fine lines in places they didn't used to be. A couple around my eyes and the corners of my mouth. I haven't developed the deep craters on my forehead that some of my friends have, but they're getting deeper everyday. It makes me sad. I'm not sure how to say this without coming off as incredibly arrogant, but here goes... Where do we turn when we start to lose our 'face value'? Yes, there's plastic surgery. At this point of my life I can't justify that kind of expense in the name of vanity. Yes, there's the less costly option of Botox--I have a friend that just had her aforementioned 'craters' filled with botulism. An option I may not completely rule out--just not sure on how I feel about willingly shooting poision under my skin. Or do I just do the noble thing and accept that Father Time marches on while leaving a trail of evidence plastered across my once semi-attractive face? I guess I am vain. Probably more than I want to admit. I am proud of where I'm at right now, I feel more comfortable in this nearly 41-year old skin than I ever have. Why is it then, I can't accept the natural progression of time and life experiences? I've earned every fine line and gray hair I own. Why do I not wear them like a badge of honor? I'll tell you why...I haven't forgotten that 20 year old body and face...and I'm not too proud to admit that! Lovely weekend wishes to you all :)

Several times in the past I've mentioned my affinity for reality TV. I'm not ashamed of the fact--as my husband thinks I should be. I watch TV to be entertained and I personally like that type of format. I haven't been a big fan of 'American Idol'...ever. I will however admit to being addicted to watching the first episodes just to see the audition tapes. Which brings me to my question...do some of these people not have ANY friends that will be upfront and honest with them? Please, please people I beg of you, if you have a friend that plans to audition for 'American Idol' sincerely who can't carry a tune with a bucket, for the love of God tell them that! I must have some sort of sick obsession to watch folks make complete asses out of themselves and I realize that if more friends would speak up I'd have less to watch. If a friend of mine was planning an audition and they clearly were not the least bit talented I feel it my obligation as a friend to speak up. Don't you? What is even more amazing is how much support some of those talentless people have from alleged friends and family. I can see protecting a loved one's feelings to a point, but come on there's a time and a place for complete honesty. Sure there's many contestants that know they can't sing and do it strictly for kicks or because they have no shame. But it's the ones that seem to be convinced 'they are twice as talented' as Kelly Clarkson that concern me. The most some of them could expect as far as a singing career goes would be a weeknight gig at the Airport Ramada--and that would be stretching it! Speak up friends and family, speak up!

I know I was raised in a society of excess, and I know I continued the tradition with my children--like most of us have. But when it comes down to it how much is really enough? **I've paid over $100 for sneakers for my son before and will probably do it again. But are those $125.00 DC's any better than their $50 Converse counterparts? **I was reading a nationally published magazine yesterday that reported no couple in a long term relationship should go more than 2 weeks without having sex, as it is the glue that holds the relationship together. So apparently there is NEVER enough sex. **Money. At one time I lived way, way below the poverty level...not so long ago. My husband and I would be classified as middle income but there's still weeks that I live from paycheck to paycheck. Is there ever enough? **Time. The older I get the less of that I seem to have. No wonder the thought of retirement used to spark a gleam in my Father's eye. ************************* ************************* ********* Just some random thoughts... I'd love to be a movie star long enough to dress up and go to the Oscars or Golden Globes just once. I like the new tBLOG. No, I REALLY like it. Sure there are some bugs to work out but I think it's a great start. I'm contemplating getting Showtime just so I can watch 'Weeds' ************************* ************************* ********* My next post will be a meme of sorts, it's the one circulating where you the reader ask me the author some personal questions and I post the answers. You've probably seen a few of these lately. I wanted to do one but put it off for fear no one would ask me anything, lol. But, here I am putting myself out there...c'mon ask me somethin, anything!

....does anybody else hate winter?

I suppose it depends on where you live. Yes, I want atleast two seasons a year, so I do want some cold weather. But as I sit here and look out on the small mountain range outside my office window it is one of the most depressive sites I have ever seen.

The gray-black skeletons we call trees during warm months remind me of an old, old woman's fingers on this all too familiar cloudy day. The view's not so bad on a bright, sunny day. I wish it were sunny today.

But would I trade this for a warm climate year-round? Today, maybe.

Would I rather live in a cold place with lots of snow to deal with during the winter months? Today, maybe.

Ideally I would be independently wealthy to the point where I could travel to my own desired climate whenever I wished...

 Yaaaaaaaaa that's gonna happen! heh.

Happy Tuesday kids :)

For some reason I think about 'reliving' my life a lot. Is that some sort of emotional abnormality? Knowing me, it probably is. But, seriously, I do think about it a lot. I'll be 41 in February, theoretically my life is half over. Wait, not just theoretically, but scientifically my life is about half over. Of course those statistics are based on the average. I folks, am anything but average!

But I digress...
At this age I can say without a doubt that I would under no circumstances want to live my 20's over again. I can't really pinpoint one good reason, or even two for that matter. I just remember that time as so confusing. Trying to prove that I was an adult and seemingly to fail miserably. People in my life still thought of me as a 'kid', and frankly I sort of saw myself that way. My then husband and I were struggling to be good parents and good providers while we still maintained some sort of social status--read, we tried to party moderately. We were pretty good at that.

I know I was a good mother in my 20's, I'm proud to say that and really be able to mean it. But I know I would have been a better, more patient mother, say in my 30's. I don't really know what makes that particular decade in my chronology bother me so, it's honestly hard to put into words, but I know I would never want to repeat it.

"Would you wanna be 30 again, Momma?" my 14 yr. old son asked. Definitely. My 30's were some of my most difficult financial and emotional years of my life. But they were so liberating and educational. Along the age of 35 I finally felt like a bonafide 'grown-up'...that's a nice feeling.

I'm thinking that things are only going to get better in my 40's. Maybe getting older isn't so bad afterall...?

First,  let me say to all of you lovely people who left me a comment on the previous post, "bless your heart!" But...

I had to reschedule! :(

My INR was low, i.e. my blood was too thick--increasing the chance of a stroke.

Still waiting to hear as to when I'm rescheduled. With my luck it will be sometime around my birthday. Heh.

Thanks again y'all!