The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

For any of you who have been reading my blog for any length of time knows, I have a genetic heart disease, called HCM. It's a prety odd disease for the fact that it can have varying degrees of impairment. For example, most doctors I've seen (that list includes some pretty impressive folks at top hospitals around the country) believe that I have had the condition all my life, eventhough I was formally diagnosed only 14 years ago.  For most of my life I have been asymptomatic--meaning I didn't have any of the problems associated with a serious heart disease, while some people are extremely symptomatic and may require a transplant or even worse, have died. I have been very lucky for the most part.

The big thing I've had to deal with is atrial fibrillation, sounds bad, but really isn't bad--well not immediately bad. A-Fib is an irregular rhythm that makes you feel like caca, but doesn't kill you--again, not immediately.  To sum it up, it's a pretty crappy way to live when you're (relatively) young and have a lot of responsibilities ** read kids!

About a year ago I asked my electrophysiologist (fancy-smancy cardiologist who specializes in pacing problems) if there were any other treatments for A-Fib besides the drug therapy(all of the current anti-arrythmics have horrible side effects and none of htem worked for me) or the electric cardioversions (I've had 6 of these, just picture in your mind a busy ER and someone yelling "paddlles...CLEAR" and that's a cardioversion. Granted, the 6 I did have were in controlled, non-emergency situations.) He reccomended that I see a Dr. at The Cleveland Clinic to examine other options and decide if I was a candidate for any of them.

I made a trip to Cleveland in Oct. and found out there is a procedure called PVAI that held great promise for people like me. It's a pretty evasive procedure, I'll have catheters placed in both groin areas and fed up into my heart and another cath in my neck that I think a camera is inserted into. So there's no "cracking my chest", no horrible scar or anything...so that should make me feel better, right? Well it doesn't!

I'm scheduled for this procedure a week from today...and I SO wish I could weasel out. The whole procedure takes about 5 hours, which intimidates me; I won't have general anesthesia, but a lot of happy medicine--a slight upside; they are going to "cut" their way from one chamber to the other--sorry that doesn't sound good no matter how you phrase it. Bottom line I am just scared. I used to do so well with medical procedures, but now I"m even dreading having an IV! And needles don't bother me at all....sheesh.

I made the decision to explore other avenues of treatment, and the thought of never having A-Fib again really excites me, so I guess I should just suck it up and have it done, right?  

I tell you, I'd love to be a big star like Oprah Winfrey during the Christmas season. I absolutely love buying Christmas gifts for my friends and family. Heck, I love buying them period. I'm not really crazy about the crowds and the fact that holiday decorations keep popping up earlier and earlier. But I just flat like the gift giving ritual.

I bet I'd make a wonderful personal shopper. I try my best to buy things I know that certain individual will enjoy based on their personalities. My Mother taught me that. She put a lot of time and effort into her Christmas shopping. I miss her.

I think it's very cool that people like Oprah (and others) spread their wealth around during the holidays and the rest of the year. I just hope they really do enjoy it as opposed to just doing  it to make themselves look better. You just never know these days.

If I were independently wealthy this December I think I know what I'd like to give...I'd love to be able to give several homes to families left homeless by hurricane Katrina. So many people have forgotten how devastated the area is.

So what would you give? Any particular thing?

I hope all of you are finished shopping and can enjoy the rest of this blessed season with those who are most important to you in your life.

Peace.

Let me begin by saying that I love men! I love the way they smell, the way they walk and please who can resist a fine man in a pair of worn-out Levi's? I would argue the age old point that the female body is much more attractive than the males. I love a man's arms and legs especially. I've yet to find the dimpled telltale signs of cellulite on the male specimen that so many of us women battle. Bastards.

For centuries experts in the fields of biology, physiology and psychology have debated the differences between the sexes with little explanation as to why we are the way we are. I am happy to say that yours truly has figured out the mystery. In addition to having the Y chromosome, the very thing that makes a man a man, they also possess the Dumb and Dumber gene.

The Dumb and Dumber gene is in no way a slam against any man's intelligence, rather it refers to the fact that all men think the movie Dumb and Dumber is hysterical. Think about it, they do...or atleast the vast majority of them do. I have watched the movie, let me rephrase, I have watched portions of the movie because for me a little Jim Carrey goes a long, long, way. In fact all the antics in that movie and those like it make me nervous. But men will watch it over and over. Right? I'm sure there are men out there that think it's cinematic genius.

The Dumb and Dumber gene supports various behaviors,  including but not limited to; cartoons (I know countless men in their late 30's that love cartoons. And I don't mean just Beavis & Butthead or The Simpsons); the fascination with farting and/or spitting (Admit it there's been atleast one time your significant other has let one rip in the check-out line at the grocery then loudly saying something to the effect of, "Dayum baby what did you eat?); squealing their car tires on wet pavement just for the heck of it (Deny it if you will but even my 70 yr. old retired accountant Father has been guilty of this); etc.

Am I trying to say that men just never grow up? Maybe so. Or am I making the point that the Dumb and Dumber gene enables men to enjoy the simple things in life a lot longer than we women do? Possibly. Eventhough I wouldn't include the fart fascination in that one, I too got a kick out of things like that when I was 12. The very thought of cutting the cheese in public terrifies me now.

I don't particularly have a problem with the Dumb and Dumber gene per se, in fact there are times when I wish I were more like them in that regard. However there is a flaw, while I may be jealous and a little enamoured with this character trait there are other times when I wish they showed a little more restraint. Know what I mean? If you're a woman of course you do!

So the next time your man is making fart sounds with his armpit or laughing hysterically at the likes of Beavis & Butthead, just look at him and smile all the while knowing he can't help it...it's just the Dumb and Dumber gene at work.

I have Monday's off. This time of year though there is very little 'down' time. This past Monday I did indulge in one of my guilty day-off pleasures...I watched The View on ABC. That's right, The View, a stereotypical chick show. It's not quite of the talk show variety but darn close.

I like the 'gossip' portion that each episode begins with. For the most part I like the hosts, if they could just shut Joy Behar's trap for a while it would be great. This past Monday the audience was made up mostly of men. A twist. And the girls were digging deep to try and uncover the mystery of the male species.

Some of it was very entertaining but one doctor really hit the nail on the head. I can't remember his name or his field of speciality but I do know he was trying to explain the cerebral differences of men and women. The hosts were goading him into saying the females were somehow a bit more superior, they'd deny it but that was their intention. Finally the good doctor said, "...basically we're just different. Men and women. We're just different." And those very simple and somewhat rhetorical words say it all. We are different. We have to accept the fact and try to focus on co-existing with one another. Men are never going to completely understand women and vice versa.

I'm not sure what the women of The View were trying to accomplish with this show. Maybe women with time on their hands constantly write in and complain about the men in their lives. Maybe women who are single and trying hard to find a good man keep their mailboxes full. Who knows? For me personally the aforementioned Dr. had the right answer!  

Besides I'm not quite sure I wanna know what makes a man tick, that's half the  attraction :)

The title refers to my mood lately. Not sure what's prompting that. At any rate hope my confession for carnal needs didn't offend anyone. And if it did, sorry.

It seems like this 'risque' behavior is running rampant in t-BLOG land, doesn't it? Maybe we all need a little satisfaction, huh? It just seems like I'm living in a perpetual Austin Powers moment here lately.

I think my husband thinks I've lost my mind...but he's not complaining, heh.

My son lost his cell phone last night at the Christmas Parade. Geez he makes me nuts sometimes. Totally nuts. I'm gonna miss him...

I love the joke about ex-husbands/bad-mean husbands...you know the one that goes something like, "If I'd killed him the first time I thought about it I'd almost be out of prison by now." bwhahahahahaha that just so kills me. And I have NO idea where that came from.

Just ramblings from a sexually deprived, middle-aged woman... "pay no attention to the man behind the curtain"

Have a wonderful weekend everyone :)

...to get laid.

Yes, I need some physical contact. This is where being married can be good....right? lol