The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

...If you could have a one-night stand with your absolute dream girl/guy, be it movie star, athlete, your boss, whomever, and be assured there would be NO moral or social backlash...would you?

Strictly physical pleasure...

No strings attached; no spouse would ever know; no getting caught.

Having the entire afternoon to myself can be dangerous, I have way too much time to think!

:)

I absolutely love a bargain, and a literary bargain is one of my favorites! I just wish I could claim this one.

My Dad found a hardback copy of James Siegel's novel Derailed at The Dollar Tree last week. The movie has just been released staring Jennifer Aniston and Clive Owen(reason enough to see the flick in my book, lol). I saw the book laying on his dresser and asked him about it. "Oh gawd Shannon, talk about a page turner" was his response. Being familiar with the film I told him I wanted to read it when he was finished. "I finished it in less than 3 days, take it with you" he told me.

Well folks I've had the book in my possesion for less than 48 hours and I have a mere 40 pages left. Yes, it's that good. Siegel's writing isn't that dazzling but the story certainly is. I expect the last 40 pages to be jam-packed with surprise. OMG when I saw Fatal Attraction the first time I felt it should be a pre-requisite to marriage. Every man and woman should see it just to know what could happen. Now I think Derailed  should take its place.

There are just so many psychotic people in this world, huh? It's my prayer that the true psycho's are the ones that are able to spin a tale such as this. Do yourself a favor and check out Amazon.com and buy a used copy of Derailed, I don't think you'll be disappointed. Then let's see the movie...

Alright, we've already established the fact that we all have done some pretty strange things for love. The issue I'm now wrestling with is that I do have some boundaries where love is concerned, and...that doesn't bother me.

Should I throw caution to the wind more? Probably. Will I? Probably not. I mean I'm in a pretty secure situation for as long as I choose to be. But I'm a product of my environment. A product of my life experiences. Most of which haven't been really positive. Sounds a little like a pity trip, huh? Well trust me I am owning each and every one of the decisions I have made. I take full responsibility for them. Yes, I have some pretty crappy luck as I've mentioned before, but the majority of those experiences happened because of a choice I made.

I suck at the game of love. I mean miserably. I have been burnt more times than I can count. Honestly before I met my now husband I had completely resolved myself to the fact that I was going to live alone. And truthfully the whole concept was becoming a little more easy to tolerate. I've said a thousand times I didn't hate being single. But deep inside me, like I believe everyone does, I had a vast desire for a life-long partner.

So I'll be the first to admit that I have some pretty jaded opinions where love's concerned. But is that more an environmental effect as opposed to me being selfish? I feel as though I'd do anything for the person I loved, in fact I know I would. But yes this old heart of mine has been fractured several times, and yes I am leary. Who wants to intentionally hurt like that? So yes I put up walls and boundaries. Maybe I'm the one who's missing out?

I call it self-preservation :)

I've been sitting here thinking about different degree's of love. You know what I'm talking about, right? You know you love your 12 year old Lab in a very special way, but not quite the same way you love your parents. And you adore your husband, wife, life-partner, etc. but not quite the same way you love your children-- that type of pecking order on the love scale.

I started to analyze the aforementioned pecking order and realized that I'd do just about anything for someone I really loved, well most anything. I won't kill, or cheat on my taxes for anyone--I wouldn't last a week in prison! I'd come the closest to commiting a crime probably for my children. As horrible as it sounds, I know in my heart if my kids were hungry I'd probably steal...I think. I'd give my husband or any member of my family a kidney if they needed it without a second thought. In fact I'd probably do the same for a close friend.

Two of my online friends began a romance about 4 years ago, 2 years ago they got engaged and have been married for a little over a year now. She is Canadian and he is from Missouri. They are both very cool and well suited for one another. Kudos to online relationships that do actually work! heh. Anyhoo, the husband has decided to move to Canada--a long decision making process for him. I don't believe he's denounced his citizenship but I'm not sure. I know there's a ton of paper work involved in this move and he will be getting Canadian benefits. So perhaps he has.

Leaving The United States, to me, seems like a huge deal...even for true love. I feel a very deep connection to my country, I don't believe there's a more beautiful place on Earth and I have been blessed to have landed here. Don't get me wrong I like Canada and her people, I've experienced them personally. But I don't believe I could pack up and leave home. Even for love. But, as a die hard romantic could I pass up what could be the perfect mate, by not leaving?

Tough issue. Could/would/ have you done (do) it?

Should there be any boundaries to true love?

Have you ever known someone that seemed to have natural good luck? Generally good human beings that just for some reason had really good fortune. I'm not talking about those kind of people that worked diligently to achieve their goals, or the independently wealthy that could essentially buy their good luck. No, I mean those that don't seem to try at all.

I really noticed this when I was in school. There was those elite few that just seemed to be 'blessed'. They weren't stand-outs, they never sought attention, yet things just seemed to go their way. I was reminded of this last weekend. The 9 year old son of a friend of mine was hunting with his Dad during the juvenile weekend hunt. Now let me state for the record that I have never understood the attraction of rising before daylight to tromp through the woods looking for deer doo in hopes the depositer would be nearby. I could surely debate the benefits of hunting in order to survive, but for sport? No I can't see it. But my husband, my step-sons and my own son think it's right up there with meeting Jesus Christ himself. They spent the entire weekend huddled in the damp woods waiting for some unsuspecting deer to wander within their shot. It never happened. They never even saw any of that deer doo. The whole weekend was a total bust. After weeks of planning and anticipation, nada, zilch, nothing.

Now my husband is a good man...well as good as he possibly can be. My step-sons can be pure demons from time to time but generally they're good people. And my son is one of the kindest 14 year olds I know. So why did they have such crappy luck with the hunting trip?

Back to the aforementioned 9 year old son of a friend...he 'got' a 4 point buck this past Saturday. His Dad told me it was the second deer they'd seen, he missed the first go 'round. But the second time he was dead on. In a couple of hours this good natured 9 year old achieved what my men have been trying to for years. My son and I were talking about the whole thing this week, I turned to him and said, "You know Todd's just one of those lucky kids." My son looked at me strangely and replied, "what kind of lucky kids?" I started explaining my take on the lucky kids and  as I talked I saw him nodding his head out of the corner of my eye. "Do you know some other kids like that?", "Yep, I sure do" he said. "And most of 'em Mom are kids I like, I mean it's not like I'm jealous of them or anything. Usually I'm pretty stoked for them." Pretty stoked for them... ok so I probably wouldn't have phrased it that way, but I sure knew what he meant.

I've often joked that I have the worst luck in the world. Now don't mistake that statement for pity, I have facts to back it up. While it's been a pain in the butt most of the time, I also feel like it makes me a little more unique. It's all those tough breaks that have made me who I am. I wish I could be more like my son and say I'm never jealous of the naturally lucky, but sometimes I am. Sometimes I wish things came a little easier. I firmly believe that I control my own destiny, I don't buy into the belief that there's some sort of cosmic reason things happen. I own each and every one of my failures and successes. But I know in my heart of hearts there are a special few who have a little better luck than most of the rest of us.

"But what about karma?" you say...let's just save that for a different post! I do believe in karma but trust me, I've paid triple for most of the wrongs in my life. I have to factor in the bad luck gene on this one :)