The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

This camel's back is just about broken.

I'm not sure how much more I can take. I've got high level stress issues coming at me left and right. Family, friends, work, etc. Serious issues, things that cannot just be blown off.

I know I am not alone in this, there have to be others among you that deal with things like this. Just one question, "How in the heck do you do it?"

Any and all suggestions would be greatly appreciated :)

4 are red, 2 white, 2 pale pink, 2 yellow, and 2 of the most incredible coral color I've ever seen.

What you ask? A peace offering from my man. Yes he's MY man...flawed, sometimes difficult to live with, but mine none the less.

Roses. Beautiful, delicate roses. I once told him that I wasn't a 'flower kinda girl' but that was a lie. A half truth. I had a husband that showered me with flowers constantly. I don't know exactly why he did, but my home looked like a mortuary a great deal of the time. They came to have no meaning, they weren't special. Today they were very special.

The husband was a complete jerk for the last 48 hours. Petty and immature. I did absolutely nothing to provoke his behavior and the flowers were his way of saying that. I was completely surprised and they were a very, very special gesture.

He knows that while I have my "days" and my hormonal changes are enough to drive him to distraction, I am a good woman. And I love him unconditionally, as he does me.

I had a HUGE day yesterday. I was totally worn out when I finally made it home around 6 p.m. My husband had called to tell me he wouldn't be home until about 7:30 p.m. which translates into a late dinner. Fine by me.

About 7:45 p.m. I started dinner and a load of the man's laundry. The menu was goolash so there wasn't much prep or attention needed. The one key ingredient was; electricity. Thanks to a large band of thunderstorms moving North that electricity thing was a little hard to come by.

It didn't just storm, it was what my Great-Grandmother used to call a 'frog strangler!' Lots of rain and horrendous lightning. The power first went off about 7:55 p.m. just for a minute though. It quickly came on again, only to disappear 90 seconds later. This kind of cat and mouse game continued to well after midnight. The "quick" dinner was finally completed about 10:30 p.m., did I mention that everyone had made themselves a sandwich or three in the meantime and all but one of them were alseep? At 1 a.m. I was still trying to finish that load of laundry.

I had to break into my "stash" of candles, all of them. In a 3,000+ sq. ft. house 6 candles don't illuminate much. And reading by candelight is not nearly as easy as one might think. The kids were losing their minds with no PS2, tv, stereoes, or phones. My husband and I had to finally take our cell phones away from them.

It was just crazy. The flippin power would come on for 15 minutes then back off for 50. My middle step-son was down in his room during one of the brief periods when we had lights. He's a little afraid of the dark, granted his bedroom in the basement is very dark with no power. He'd blown out his candle, sure the power was on for good. When the lights went back out he was my first concern until I heard him coming up the steps and this "shhhhhhh" sound. The noise I was hearing was the blow-torch! He tried to make it up by the light of a disposable lighter but it wouldn't stay burning, so I suppose his 15 year old logic led him to believe the blow-torch was the next best thing! Kids.

Along with other luxuries I often take for granted I missed not being able to have my nightly 'blog time.' Even after the lights finally stayed on the cable was screwy, I could never get a solid connection. *sigh*

The weather guru's are calling for the same type storms tonight. I regret not letting the man buy that generator when we had the chance!

Yes, I've caved to pressure. Well, not really but I do like this 'Lifetime' timeline thingy. I wasn't formally tagged but got the needed incentive from Billyryan's blog. So blame her :)

10 years ago: Married Mother of 8 year old daughter and 3 year old son. Up to my ears in civic obligations, room-mother, and P.T.A. officer extraordinare. Up to my eyeballs in debt but had the luxury of more money coming in that going out.

5 years ago: Single Mother of a 13 year old daughter and 8 year old son. Not doing any civic duties or school volunteer work. Pretty much very lonely and very poor.

1 year ago: I was a newlywed still trying to adjust to a family of 6. Struggling with my husband as he had started his own business 3 months earlier.

Yesterday: A good day...well except for being a little insensitive to someone when I could have been completely different.
Today: Productive. Spent the afternoon washing my mother's living room curtains and cleaning her windows. She's not able to do this stuff anymore, and honestly I don't know if I'll be able to do it anymore while she's present!
Tomorrow: Back to work, hoping for just as much productivity.

5 Snacks I Enjoy: Saltine crackers and American cheese, sunflower seeds, Oreo's, a good cheese-ball, pretzels.

5 Songs I Know All The Words To: Amazing Grace, The National Anthem, My High School Alma Mater, The Itsy Bitsy Spider, Most every Pop song from the '70s or 80's...honest!

5 Things I Would Do With $100,000,000: No less than 20% to charity, Buy my Mother a new home, Buy my Daddy a new home, Buy me 2 new homes(gotta have that vacation place too), Make some sound investments.

5 Locations I`d Like to Run Away To: Italy, The Bahama's, Alaska, The Florida Gulf Coast, Philadelphia--that's the history nut in me.

5 Bad Habits I Have: My sometimes foul mouth, Trying to please everyone, procrastination, Making excuses for the ones I love, Occasionally recklessly spending money--let's not get my husband's opinion on this one, lol.

5 Things I like Doing: Living, Writing, Watching reality tv, reading, meeting new people.

5 Things I Would Never Wear: A thong--yes I've tried! I'd rather just go commando, tennis shoes with colored socks, anything camoflauge, overalls, An "I'm With Stupid ----" T-shirt.

5 T.V. Shows I Like: Survivor, Friends (I watch the re-runs over and over), Trauma: Life and Death in the ER, Dr. Phil (I just know one of these days someone's gonna clock him and I want to see it!), The Amazing Race.

5 Movies I Like: The Usual Suspects, Goodfellas, Fried Green Tomatoes, Phantom of The Opera, Gone With The Wind.

5 Famous People I'd like to Meet: Dr. Martin Luther King, Jesus, Rachel Ray, Mark Twain, Stephen King--this guy has to be a real trip to write some of the stuff he does/has.

5 Biggest Joys at the Moment: My husband and family--get a screenshot of this one because it's liable to be short-lived, lol, watching my children grow into young adults, this blog--yes I know that's cheesy but..., my job, just being alive.

5 Favorite Toys: My Patrick(Star, that is from SpongeBob Squarepants fame)collection, my new bedside Tiffany lamp, my bedroom remote control, my new toothbrush complete with tongue scrubber, my new cell-phone.

I was running late, as usual. I scanned the church sanctuary trying to locate a good seat that would provide easy access to the aisle as I had Children's Time responsibilities today.
I sat down behind one of our Youth directors and began talking of our simultaneous vacations. A lady behind me interrupted and asked me something pertaining to office business, when I turned back around another church member had taken the seat next to the lady I had been talking to. Both of these women have 3 year old girls that always prove amusing. I winked and smiled at both of them as we sang the first hymn. This was the first Sunday for our new pastor. I knew he was nervous and I tried to smile everytime he looked in my direction as some sort of "you're doing fine" gesture. And he did do fine.

After the service as usual I was met with several church members asking questions about upcoming events. I was trying to make it to the front to congratulate the new minister and meet his parents when the second lady sitting in front of me turned around. I'd noticed that her hair wasn't nearly as perfectly coiffed as usual beforehand as well as her daughter's. I didn't think much of it until my eyes met hers. I learned a few months ago that she and her husband were having "trouble." I hadn't really tried to find out the who's and why's of this disturbance other than the husband apparently had a girlfriend. When she looked at me the dark circles under her eyes and her obvious weight loss spoke volumes. In a split second I was transported back in time...

There is no pain like the pain of betrayal. The physical evidence of it is unmistakable. Hurt oozed from her every pore. It was at that moment that I felt very ashamed for not putting my arm around her and telling her I cared about her,if nothing else as one christian to another. I couldn't bring myself to do it. It's not that we are enemies, but more that we have just never gee'd and hah'd. There's no real animosity between us, just I don't particularly care for her personality. My own pride stood in the way of potentially letting someone in pain know that there are people that care. I can't shake her image. I can't get her eyes out of my mind. I can't because I know exactly how she feels. I know how it feels to cry until you're sure your body is completely dehydrated and you can't shed another tear...but you do. I know that 'kick you in the gut' feeling that never goes away. I know how heartbreaking it is to look in the eyes of two innocent children and try to explain the mess that the two adults they trust more than anyone has made. I know how it feels to have trust mutilated in your presence and how absolutely powerless you are to stop it. The whole thing is like a train speeding out of control.

This is one wrong I am going to make right. I plan to pick up some sort of a card tomorrow and just drop her a note telling her that I do care. I'm not going to bash her husband or tell her 'everything's going to be alright.' I'm just going to let her know that I saw the pain and I care. The one thing I won't do is tell her I know just how she feels, eventhough I do. I know from experience that line isn't very comforting in this situation.

I ate a Fig-Newton tonight. It had been years since I had one. Seems we used to have them a lot in Bible School along with those huge sugar cookies, you know the ones that were about the size of a saucer? They were delicate but crunchy, they had a strong vanilla odor and that big, chunky sugar on top of them. If memory serves me correctly those sugar cookies were the perfect thing to dunk in grape Kool-Aid. Yum!

As I was chewing the fig newton, tiny little seeds kept popping in my mouth. That was a surprise. I didn't remember those, and I'm not sure I liked it. I dislike blackberry's because of those little snapping seeds inside of them. My husband says the seeds are what give them their punch. At this age the only thing I eat that I want to snap, crackle and pop are...yes, Rice Krispies.

I know I really liked Fig Newtons as a kid, but not so much now. I liked circus peanuts as a kid, but now the amount of sugar nearly puts me into shock! I still like Pop-Rocks, but I think they've been toned down quite a bit. And I honestly don't think I could eat a 'Now-Or-Later' if my life depended on it.

Are there things you enjoyed as a youngster that just don't hold the same appeal for you now?

I have officially been blogging for a smidge over 10 months. I started out spinning, what I hoped would be, entertaining posts. As I became more comfortable with this community I began to be more open about my personal life. More people started to read and I felt a degree of acceptance that I hadn't felt in a long time. As I became more 'read' I too began to read more as seems to be the natural path bloggers take. This is a journey not to be taken lightly.

On a daily basis I read magnificent works of literary art here. Posts that I cannot even pretend to imitate. Many of them leave me shaking my head in amazement while others have me frantically 'googling' current events and the like. There are times--ok more than I'd like to admit--that I don't comment for fear of looking like the village idiot. It's times like this that I feel that the obligatory "nice post" comment is more of an insult to the writer as a compliment. Do you ever feel that way?

I enjoy reading all different genere's of writing where blogs are concerned. I can skip from what some would consider 'fluff' to a very poignant post in the blink of an eye and respect both of them equally. I read some authors and realize that this may be that writers only outlet of expressing themselves, I think that's special. We all need to 'vent' from time to time and what better a place to do just that?

Am I the only one ever left wondering aloud, "We're not worthy"?

Less than a year ago a dear friend and former family member of my husband's was diagnosed with leukemia. He spent 28 days in the hosptial and took chemotherapy treatments for 8 months. He is the father of 15 and 13 year old sons. At several points during his illness it looked like he would be cheated out of seeing his boys turn to men, his wife finally earn her Masters Degree or ever see his 40th birthday.

Last night this man sat at my dining room table and had dinner with us and the rest of his immediate family. He's still not the picture of health, but light-years from what I had imagined. He has an infectious smile and a lively spirit. When he speaks of his illness he is serious and informative. He makes you know that every single day of life is precious and that thought lingers long after he is gone. He is a miracle.

Today my world looked a little brighter--which says a lot considering I battle a health condition that makes everyday life a challenge much of the time. I drank in the beauty of the world and listened--really listened--to everyone I came in contact with. I thought to myself, "this man has a second chance at life", but couldn't it be said with every healthy day each of us lives we too have a second chance at life? I think so. I am going to make the days count and live every 'second chance' to the fullest.

Thank God for miracles and second chances.

The beautiful and talented Lindy http://lindy.tblog.com/ tagged me...and I am finally getting around to completing the task. I hope you enjoy...

My Meme

1.) Christmas--I've blogged before on how much I loved Christmas as a child and still do. The anticipation of Christmas morning is what childhood should all be about. I am very fortunate that I had a Mother who didn't have very happy memories of her childhoold Christmases, so she went out of her way to make sure ours were beyond special. There is one draw-back... I was angry, hurt and disappointed to learn there was no Santa Claus, in fact I'm still not over it. Santa Claus to me was the essence of what good and fair was meant to be.

2.) The Tooth Fairy--I detest the taste of blood, that was the major pisser where pulling teeth were concerned. But as bad as it was, the money under my pillow the next morning was worth it. I can remember lying in my bed, tooth wrapped in toilet paper strategically placed under my pillow, imagining the tooth fairy tip-toeing around me with her satin bag of teeth and one of those coin changers on her hip--the kind car-hops wear. Don't ask me where I conjured up that image, lol. She always looked like Elizabeth Montgomery in the episode of 'Bewitched' I loved.

3.) Crying--Sure I cry as an adult but with a lot less impact than when I was a child. I didn't cry very often, and still don't. But when I did my parents and friends knew there was a problem. For people who aren't very emotional, crying can be a valuable tool. It was my way of subtly saying, "Hey I'm over here, pay a little attention to me."

4.) Vacation Bible School--Ohhhh my...I was somewhat of a Bible School pimp. I'd swing into action before school was out, making sure my friendships with girls of other denominations were strong and my invite to go with them intact. I attended as many as humanly possible, sometimes two different churches a day. As I got older a few of them caught on to me, realizing I only wanted to be their friends for that reason. Back then all of them were different, today most denominations use the same curriculum, which I think would be a little boring. I LOVED the crafts. I remember at a Baptist church we made parchment paper, that was the coolest craft ever.

5.)Innocence--Adulthood has many perks, but even more disappointments. I miss seeing only the good in people...the way children seem to. I suppose the loss of innocence is just a rite of passage, but I wish I were more capable of seeing the good before my jaded mind focuses on the bad. Most of this comes from experiences that have left me hurt...all part of maturity. I try very hard to see the good in mankind, but sometimes it's very difficult.

Well there you have it :) I have read tons of these things in the last couple of days and been impressed by all of them. I am going to refrain from tagging anyone else, basically because I think everyone in the free world has been tagged, lol. I will extend an invitation for you to do one yourself if you haven't yet and give me the credit! heh.

I love the beach. I think if I lived there I would never tire of the sound, smell and feel of it. As I sat there watching the waves roll in over and over I wondered where each one of them had started at. I'd look out over the water and wonder for an hour who was on the other side of the horizion wondering the same thing.

For seven days I woke up every morning, early by my standards, and sit on my balcony. Time passed so quickly as I watched the kamakazi pelicans nose dive into the water in hopes of food. Time passed quickly and quietly. Much of the time my mind was blank, in neutral so to speak, other times I fired off questions to myself at warp speed. THIS is my surreal life.

In the evening I'd watch as the sun sat spraying the sky with magnificent colors of reds, oranges, blues and purples. I'd watch the same young children building sand castles and chasing waves with as much energy as they had early in the morning. I smiled a lot.

This was the beauty of my week at the beach.

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The realities of my week at the beach are:

1. Vacations are expensive.
2. While I live in a very humid climate, there's something about sea air and humidity that makes my hair take on the image of an Egyptian sphinx.
3. I CAN have fun with my large family.
4. Sunscreen is only effective when applied in large quantities very frequently.
5. I didn't like it when sand would get in the crotch of my swimsuit when I was a kid and I don't like it now!
6. Young women aren't built like they used to be.
7. It's cool to have a tattoo.
8. Jose Cuervo, limeade, a blender, a stack of magazines and an oceanfront balcony is a lethal combination.
9. I'm not as cool as I want to be but I am as cool as I ever was.
10. Teenagers would rather walk on the beach than eat.
11. I am much happier than I ever thought.
12. My husband is hot, and even better, he thinks I'm hot!

There's a ton of stories I could share with you but that would take up many posts, so I'll leave you with this and invite you to ask me anything specifically you'd like in the comments :)

Yes the weary traveler has made it back home. Well rested and tan--ok not as tan as I wanted to be thanks to the rain and the fact that I kept a pretty thick coat of sunscreen on all the time. But the time spent in the sun has brought my dormant winter freckles back to life. ugh!

The trip home was long, the testosterone level was so thick you could have cut it with a knife--yes I was the only ovaries in the van, which put's me in a very precarious position. I was able to deal with all the sarcasm and jokes pretty well, but once we crossed the TN state line I began to fight back! heh. All in good fun. I was simply tired and needed a little more seriousness thrown into the mix!

It's very late now but I have a headful of potential blogs based on the experiences of the last week, I can't wait to share them with you all.

First though, I will attempt my meme tagging adventure! I am going to have to put that one off until tomorrow :)

Vacations are very nice but I can't wait to sleep in my own bed.

Last but certainly not least, I have to thank my wonderful 'guest writers' who took the time out of their very busy schedules to help me out. I love you both dearly, you're becoming the sisters I've never had. And for all of this I will be eternally grateful :)

More to come after some much needed slumber...

In the spirit of Shannon's reunion with her man, the following post is dedicated to those moments.
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I saw your face the other day. It was actually at the break of day. You smiled at me in your sleep. Tracing your lips, let me sing in your morning ears....

I saw the mountains in the distance and thought of your body, strong, light, soft and wild....let me sing in your pastures....

I went to the ocean and watched the water from the top of a cliff, under a light house, with the wind, and the water, and you meeting me, let me sing into the face of it all....

I heard that sound you make when you’re happy in me....the one like water over rocks, in a field, in a tiny stream....let me sing and swim in your river....

I buried my face in your blonde hair and saw the sun inside and clouds before my eyes. Let me sing into the day I hold in my hands....

Your mouth, lips full and soft....tongue darting out to lick the air and your flesh. Let me sing into your mouth....sing your own song back to me....

If I could, I would carry your voice with me and leave my own with you. If I could, I would wear your smile in the morning, climb the mountain of you with each step I take, dive into your ocean, drink from the river of you, run my hands through your night....and listen for your voice.


By "Guest Writer"

Our dear friend FF gets to enjoy the end of her vacation with her man after all.  There's only one catch.

He's bringing all four boys.  They should have gotten there about an hour ago.

Well, maybe they'll get a chance to sneak off. 

In the meantime, she's a lobster marinating.  Just what a vacation on the beach should be.

It's sandal season. 

Once, when I was 19, I was wearing jeans and no shoes.  This very strange man hit on me like this:  "You must have beautiful legs, 'cause you sure have ugly feet."

For the record, I don't have ugly feet.  They are just very thin and boney.  And now they have callouses on the bottom, just behind the toes.  At least I have pretty toe nails, even if the pinky toes curl under their neighbors.  I try to keep them polished in the summer.

But that's not the part that bothers me.  It's the part that's on the outer edge of the foot, under the ankle, where the skin makes little XXX's as it changes to the bottom of the foot.  That part is dry and rough and old-looking.  It needs exfoliated, moisturized and pampered.

What about you?  What part of you needs a little pampering this summer?  Let's meet at the spa...

by "Guest Writer"

 

It hung in the sky like a wisp of smoke, but it really was a cloud.  Sort of.  It was small and wispy.  And perfectly grey-black.  The occupants of our car, children and adults alike, considered the nature of this forlorn little grey-black cloud, and were at first confused.  But then one of us realized that the cloud was positioned at just the right location, under a much larger cloud, so that no light hit it whatsoever.  No light from above.  No light from below.

A mist of water vapor hanging in the sky surrounded by light, yet consumed in total darkness.

by 'Guest Writer'

Hmmmm what a week...
Be forewarned that this is going to be a post of jumbled thoughts...pretty much like most of the rest, heh.

Work-- I don't have the strength to go into great detail about this week, but for those who don't know I work as Administrative Assistant(yes, I'm a secretary but I like this title better) and Food Bank Coordinator. Few people can fully appreciate the delicate nature of my job and that of the clergy. I have been a member of this church most all my life, so I know everyone personally, which is an added burden. Virtually everyone I come in contact with daily has to be handled with kid gloves. Don't get me wrong I love these people, and that's the driving force that keeps me wanting to be as cordial and accomodating as I am--and I'm not looking for praise here, but I can honestly say I AM good at my job and to these people.
In the process of being good to people I've sat myself up to being taken advantage of. So naturally I am becoming more and more frustated. There is a bright spot in all the mess, our church is getting a new pastor. While essentially getting a new boss and being a little nervous about that, I see this as an opportunity to set some new boundries in my job without having to do any of the dirty work. Yes I know this is sort of a 'weasely' way out but better for everyone involved...I think.

Vacation--I am leaving before dawn Sunday morning for Florida. Luckily in the opposite direction of the potential hurricane. We purchased this week(condo) about 2 months ago from my sister. I have been totally stoked about it since then as had the man. Three weeks ago I noticed that anytime I mentioned the vacation he'd change the subject and if I asked him anything concerning when we should leave, he'd become very vague. I was suspicious and had a hard time hiding it. I'm the type of person that would just rather have the bad news, process it*read get mad about it*, then get over it. He knows me well. He's supervising a Govt. contract job. A job that's been behind schedule from the get-go. I think he knew for sure that there was no way he could take off for the whole week, and by today he knew it was looking grim for him to be able to take off at all. I'll admit I'm mad as hell about it. I know his back is against the wall, I know that he's busted his ass for the last 6 months to get the job done. While not perfect, and many times I'd like to run screaming from him, he's a good guy. I just wish he'd understand that I need my 'mad time', it's my way of dealing. He's knows I'm not going to stay home, and as bad as he hates to admit it, my independence kind of scares him. Today was the first time he finally admitted things looked pretty grim...I would have been over it all had he told me a week ago. Oh well...

Kids--I think we've had 3 child-free days since school was out. This is not what I expected. This whole subject bothers me a lot...I'll spare you anymore details about this subject as I have an entire summer to complain about it. Sigh.

BUT ON A HAPPY NOTE...I have asked two wonderfully talented writers--whom I'm proud to call friends--to keep my blog active. I'm leaving it up to them to tell you who they are, if they are so inclined :) I won't have any internet access for a week and am looking forward to seeing what they have written when I get home!

And that's Coca~Cola not cocaine! I'll admit I tried it in the '80's twice, I never got the kind of 'high' that could encourage me to spend that much money. Praise God! But I have a VERY real addiction to Coca~Cola.

In the South I've noticed that every carbonated beverage is called a 'Coke.' For instance I have been known to say, "When you go to the store could you pick up a couple of Coke's? One Coke and a Dr. Pepper." If the kids say, "Is there any Coke?" that translates into any soda. We here in the South are pretty proud of Coke, in fact some historians say the invention sparked the economy greatly around here.

I absolutely love a cold Coke. There is nothing else like it to me. Don't even try to sell me on the virtues of Pepsi, because it's not happening! To my taste buds Pepsi tastes flat, way too sweet, and just not good. And a Coca~Cola from a 10 ounce glass bottle is almost heaven on Earth!

Recently I've realized that my drink of choice is just far too many empty calories. While I do limit myself... even a couple a day is over 200 calories. I realize at my age those are calories I can really do without. So...I have forsaken my beloved Coke, substituting Diet Dr. Pepper for it. Diet Dr. Pepper is a wonderfully refreshing beverage to me. I honestly love it. But, it's not a Coke.

I am not going to completely deprive myself because I've learned that moderation works much more effectively. But I am going to limit myself to a few a month instead of a few a day. I broke out in a cold sweat just typing that...*sigh*

As a true Southerner I love my iced tea, but not sweetened--I think that statement could be illegal in some Southern towns. I love good brewed iced tea with lemon and Sweet and Low. Nope, I don't care for Splenda or Equal in cold beverages, just gimme the saccharin!

I think I might need a good 12-step program in the near future!

Yesterday afternoon as a part of 'Family Day' we spent several hours at the mall. All the boys had money to spend and it was a cool alternative to anything outdoors. My husband and I weren't in the market to shop so we headed straight to the Food Court for some 'Dippin Dots'. FYI the raspberry sherbet was very tasty!

We'd told the boys to meet us back at the theatre at 4:00 p.m., the show we wanted to see started at 4:30, so we figured telling them to be there at 4:00 should guarantee them to be back by atleast 4:15. Cell phones are a wonderful thing in this type of situation :)

The man and I enjoyed our ice cream pellets and a fair amount of people watching--one of my favorite pasttimes. We both seemed fixated on what young women are wearing these days, or lack thereof. It fascinates me that these girls/women are comfortable with blue jeans that ride just a smidge above their pubic bones. Skin(and lots of it) is definitely 'in'. I've said it before and I'll say it again, there are MANY body types that do not belong in the low-rise denim. Actually, very few can pull it off. I saw a young woman, probably in her early 20's that I would wager weighed 250lbs with a pair of khaki cargo pants on. They were low rise, belted with much excess skin/flesh exposed. In addition she had on the typical small, knit, T-shirt with them. And the 'peak-a-boo' exposure of a yellow thong at the back of the cargo pant waistband. Ladies...this is NOT good, not good at all. I think it's great that this young woman wants to be trendy. I think it's great that she can find fashionable clothing in a plus size, but even with the large amount of self confidence she had, how can she think this was a good look? I suppose I was a little disgusted and envious.

The real kicker of my people watching experience was some of the types of footwear women choose to 'shop 'til ya drop' in. This is not a new phenomenon, I've noticed it many times before. Why do 30-something women wear 4 inch stilleto's to the mall? Sure you look good, but the way you can barely shuffle one foot in front of the other takes away from it. I've learned that most of the really 'cute' shoes are often the most uncomfortable. It's one thing to wear them out to a club where you can slip them on and off from time to time. But to the mall? Or the airport? You know you're going to be walking, a lot, so why not opt for a little more comfort? Is fashion really that important? We'd all like to be Sarah Jessica Parker bouncing around on $500 stilts, but it's just not practical. And besides, very few of us look as graceful.

I hope your weekend was a good one :)

I will be leaving for Florida in a week. My lily white body hasn't seen sun since last summer...it ain't pretty! I have decided not to do a week in a tanning coffin because frankly I don't have the time and I'm cheap. Why is those kinds of things seemed like a necessity a few years ago?

Anyhoo I have never, ever had any luck with self-tanners. I see some of my friends that use them and just have a beautiful, authentic looking tan. I'm curious if anyone has any reccomendations? I've tried several different brands and I've followed every tip I can find. I've loofahed so much before applying I'm sure the majority of my epidermis was gone. Hmmm maybe that's why it didn't work? heh.

For some reason I always end up looking like the Great Pumpkin after using them. Perhaps it's just the pigment of my skin? Does anyone else have that problem?

I had the coolest Daddy growing up. I still do. On Sunday’s after church all the young people would head to the river, during the summer that is. One of the most popular destinations was “The Trestle.” This being a train trestle located on one of the calmer parts of the Hiwassee River. The river being a big draw for whitewater enthusiasts, not the heart-stopping variety, the lazy, restful sort, there are few big rapids but not many.

The locals would meet up and climb up the rope ladder, walk 35 ft. or so and jump off into the rolling river below. Over and over this ritual would take place. One Sunday Daddy had taken my sisters and our friends there. I was probably 14 or 15. I was a trestle virgin. Not yet old enough to come with a group of friends and certainly not old enough to drive there alone. My Daddy is the only parent I ever remember being places like that. I never once was ashamed of him because everyone liked him. He WAS cool.

One particular Sunday afternoon a group of boys were dogging him to jump off the trestle. He exchanged ‘digs’ with them and laughed heartily. I was accustomed to this behavior. My Daddy was the life of any party. Just then he was up and walking toward the rope, “Watch your sister Shannon” he said as he left. He won’t do it, he’s older than dirt, there’s no way he’ll jump off that thing” I thought. But I’ll be damned just at that moment he took hold of the rope and began to climb. Mind you he was at least 44 years old then. He scampered up the rope with ease. Carefully he maneuvered the train tracks making his way to the jumping off point. My youngest sister sat motionless as he took his position. For some reason I had my camera with me on that afternoon. I photographically documented the day’s events.

He looked at the mass of young boys below and yelled something to the effect, “Here’s what an old man can do” and he jumped, plunging into the cool water. Everyone on the sideline cheered! His head quickly appeared and swam to shore, laughing. I breathed a sigh of relief and joined the cheering.

This is just one of many stories I could tell. I idolize this man in the way daughters often do. He’s taught me so many lessons, many of which I’m sure he doesn’t even realize. When my daughter graduated from High School I was reminded of the kind of guy he was. You see not only was he cool when I was her age, he’s still cool. He took up substitute teaching after retiring. He knows more of my daughter’s peers than I do. As we left the commencement ceremony dozens of students yelled, “Hey Mr. B what’s up?” or comments to that effect. Several stopped to talk to him personally. As I stood there with him I was transported back in time. Kids loved him then and they love him now.

I aspire to be more like him.