The Good, The Bad and The Ugly

I spent today at home, in bed, sick...again. Yes, my immune system is in pitiful shape after the pneumonia. Given my extensive time in and out of hospitals and Doctor offices I'm gonna go out on a limb and say I have bronchitis. I refuse to admit it could be the dreaded "P" disease again. I'm not sure I could take that. I have an appointment to get an expert diagnosis tomorrow.

While laying around with every fiber of my being aching like a young bird's butt, I spent a fair amount of time watching TV. Daytime television leaves a lot to be desired. But the most disturbing thing I saw was a commercial that literally makes me run screaming. It's an advertisement for Lamisil, the toe fungus medication. The star of the commercial is one of the most repulsive little cartoon animations I've ever seen. His name is 'Digger'. He's a dermatophyte, whatever the hell that is!



His voice makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up and that sickening portrayal of him working his way under that yellow, infection ridden big toe makes me want to vomit. I swear to God I run away from the television when it comes on. His little pointed ears and rotund body does something to me I can't describe. My husband thinks it's hysterical, but the whole thing turns my stomach. The problem today was I couldn't run and couldn't hide. Each time it came on the image and that voice were seared into my memory. I hate, hate, hate that commercial.

Are there any commercials on today that make you want to run screaming?

The Oscar's are about half way through right now. I'm not a big awards show fan but frankly there's little else on. And I'll be honest after all the hype of Chris Rock hosting I am a little curious. To this point I've been pleasantly surprised. I've always liked Chris Rock because not only as a comedian did he make fun of others, he always did such a hilarious job of making fun of his own race. I think that offends a lot of people, hence the apprehension of his hosting what likes to be known as a 'prestigious' awards program. I'll give him kudos for his job so far. I think his jokes have been funny, I think he's been very serious and focused when announcing presentee's. So far, so good.

Also kudo's to Beyonce Knowles. She's doing the presentation of the nominated songs, several of them. She is a beautiful woman with obvious vocal talent. I love her wardrobe too. I was never a big Destiny's Child fan but I can see what all the hoopla is about concerning this talented, beautiful young woman.

I try to stay as far away from controversial topics as I possibly can in my blog, but I feel compelled to say I think tonight is a fantastic night for some very young and not so young, extremely talented black actors and actresses. Not to say there haven't been a slew of black actors and actresses honored and awarded at previous Oscars, there's just something special about this broadcast. Or to me anyway. The Johnny Carson tribute left a lump in my throat and was probably the most special moment for me.

Now unless everything falls to crap in the next hour with antics like Chris Rock saying the 'F' word or one of Beyonce's bosoms making a surprise appearance I'd be willing to bet this has been a class act presentation! I'm not really caring who's winning as I only saw one of the nominated films, but I am being entertained and that is good enough for me!

A few observations:
Halle Berry could look good in a poorly designed toga!
Renee Zellwegger looks better with Bridget Jones' diary and body!
Kate Winslet should wear blue every-frickin-day
Natalie Portman needs a new stylist! ick
Hilary Swank's wrap dress is stunning...not so sure about the blue, it's not as nice as Kates.
Salma Hayek...omg...total Prada trainwreck....ack!
Cate Blanchet's dress looks like old silk drapes that have been wrapped around her, I'm thinking Valention Couture could have done a little better!
LOVED Virginia Madsen's Versace, the color was wonderful and it fit like a glove!
I think Scarlet Johansson is a beautiful woman, her black almost second skin like dress by Roland Mouret. A hit.
Poor, Poor Gwyneth Paltrow wearing a flesh tone gown by Stella McCartney...not good.

Just a few of my own observations, if you'd like to check out more red carpet pics her's a link http://www.oscar.com/oscarnig...

If you saw the show what was your take on it?

It is an absolutely gorgeous day in East Tennessee. The sun is beaming, it's warm and it makes me wanna drag out the lawn chair and some tanning oil! Sunbathing in February is something I've done many, many times. In fact if I weren't battling a cold and fear possibly getting pneumonia again, I'd probably would have done it today.

I take blood thinners because of the chronic A-Fib so my hands and feet stay cold year 'round. I can sit and bask in the sun's heat for hours on end. I always tell people that I know winter is coming again and I'm trying to heat my internal core to the highest temperature possible.In the past few years I've tried to spare the face and use sunscreen. Besides who needs the wrinkles for a tan face, that's what make-up is for.

The man and I went to lunch in the mountains today at a little cafe. On the drive up I was telling him about my mid-winter sunbathing. He couldn't believe that it was such a common thing. "It's not like you're living in Florida. I could understand doing something like that there. But this is Tennessee, what's the point?" he argued. Valid argument and one I had no rebuttal for. He nearly popped a vein as I told him about the days when me and my girlfriends used to use Crisco instead of tanning oil. Now that was stupid. Crisco is meant for cooking food, once slathered on lily-white skin it does virtually the same thing, cooks it. I also remember as a young girl the 'women' would grease themselves up in a baby oil and iodine concoction. The results would be the color of a baseball mit and the texture of reptile skin. But they were convinced it provided the deepest tan possible when in truth it probably resulted in premature damage to the epidermis and a several cases of melanoma.

Twice in my life I've sunbathed nude, once at a girlfriends house and once in a tanning booth. The booth was like a giant aluminum foil closet with mind-numbing bright lights. These were all the rage back in the early 80's. I got a free use coupon with a gym visit but what I really got was a blistering in places that were never intended to see sunlight, real or otherwise. I do believe that all of us look 'healthier' with a tan but to what extreme do we go to get it? Tanning beds are common place these days and the artificial tanners are a multi-million dollar business. Do we sacrifice our health to achieve what we may preconcieve as looking good? I just may not do as much tanning this year as I have in the past. But you can bet I will be sitting in the glorious sunshine, warming the bones up as I have in years past.

To tan or not to tan, that is the question. What's your answer?

After complaining and dreading it for months the day is here. I intend to embrace this new era of my life and enjoy it! The begining of that journey started last night when I shamelessly posted my own birthday celebration here, lol.

Thank you, my friends for stopping by on this, the first day, of the rest of my life :-)

Now a little survey question for you...I always had birthday parties for my kids as my Mother did for me. Have you ever had a particularly good OR bad party, at any age, that sticks out in your memory? Please share some memories. I'll include my answer in the comments.

Give up?
:)

Last night I bought my second new appliance...ever. The first was a new washing machine 2 years ago. Last night I got it's mate, a new dryer. The old dryer was over 18 years old and had done a tremedous job.

My washer and dryer are a 'mixed' set, but that's ok. Atleast they're the same color. I was amazed at the selection of dryers Lowe's had to offer. All the different settings, the different drying cycles. My old dryer had two settings; dry and scorched. I skipped the optional "buzzer", I've never had one before so why start now. There was one feature that blew me away...the dryer has a light inside of it. What is that for? I always pull the load of clothes out and into a basket to fold, so what's the purpose of a light? This is a luxury I've not yet decided the benefit for.

The man and I had little debate about the purchase. He wanted a different brand but that particular brand had the lint trap on the top, one of those long slender things. I envisioned one of the children shoving it back in the slot, that is on the chance that they DO clean it out, and snapping it in half. Also the one he wanted had a door that pulled down instead of swinging open, a drop door would be too tempting to sit something on, like another human.

It's strange to think that I've bought two homes in my life, a few brand new cars, all my clothing and shoes are new but at this stage of the game I'm just starting to buy my appliances new. Does this mean I've 'made it'?

As Paul Harvey would say, "And now, here's' the rest of the story..."

I had been best friends of the slut's sister growing up. She and I always maintained a friendship but after I was married and had my daughter we just didn't have too much in common. This proved to be a selling point for her older sister upon returning home, too bad I didn't realize she was in the market for a little adultery. After I discovered the notes I called the sister and told her what had happened, it was at this point she confessed her entire family knew of her infatuation with my husband. WHAT? Does anyone in this world have any integrity anymore? Why would her sister, my friend, not come to me and say something. Turns out she had, in a very indirect way, dropped hints. I think I was unconcerned because of my husband's obvious dislike of the trollop. BIG mistake.

Eventually my husband and I divorced, not because of the so-called friend, but because of his complete lack of fidelity. Yes he left me for another woman, yes he married her. The countless affairs(the ones I knew about) hurt, but nothing hurt quite as bad as being betrayed by my husband and  my friend. The ex-friend did remarry, I heard this through the grapevnle. She went on to have two more children. Her son and my son are the same age. I took comfort in knowing that I lived in a different town so I'd never have to deal with meetings at school and such. That comfort didn't last forever. Due to financial difficulties I was forced to move back to my hometown. Rent was cheaper and my family all lived here. My son was in 1st grade, I dreaded the possibility of seeing this woman, we'd not spoken or even seen one another since I found out what she was up to. I was afraid of what I might say to her. Luckily our children went to different schools, her son was held back a grade so I didn't even have to worry about that chance encounter, or so I thought...

5 years ago my best friend took over the duties of coaching a summer swim league. She asked if would help, I accepted. My son wanted to compete and that thrilled me. The second week of practice I was at the far end of the pool helping the young kids with flip-turns when I looked up and nearly fainted. Yes, it was her with  kids in tow. I'd never told my coaching friend what had happened. I freaked out! Here I was confined to this area with chain-length fencing holding me prisoner. Flashbacks of her oogling my husband, lying to me and him basking in all the attention came flooding back. Tears welled up in my eyes and I felt so helpless. I looked up again and she was gone. Had I imagined that? Of course not. After practice I told my friend what had happened. She told me that her kids and in fact her too were very involved in this league, and that if I felt like I just couldn't do it she'd understand. I seriously considered quitting, but then I got angry with myself. Why should I feel uncomfortable? I didn't do anything wrong.

I avoided any contact with her, when I'd come within 10 feet of her I'd throw my nose in the air and glance in the other direction. About a week later I was walking to my car and I look up to sher her standing there. Again I wanted to run, but instead I kept right on walking. As I got closer I saw she was crying. When I reached the car she said, "I don't know how you're going to react, but please just let me say this. I haven't had a peaceful night's sleep in 5 years. I cannot stop thinking about the horrible thing I did to you. I know there's nothing I can say to change what I did, but I do want you to  know that I am not proud of it and I am so very sorry." That's almost verbatim what she said, it's burned in my memory. I was shocked...I wanted to hit her, hit her really hard. I wanted to try and hurt her like she'd hurt me. I wanted her to feel that deep, hot pain in her gut. The same pain I felt when I found the notes. As bad as I wanted that, I couldn't do it, I couldn't hurt her like she had me. Instead I told her that I had  forgiven her years ago, I knew I had to. While I had forgiven her I could never forget what she or my ex husband did. I told her I was still angry because they'd made me a bitter untrusting person for a lot of years. She listened and when I was finished she thanked me and left.

In the years that have passed we have seen each other countless times. Our son's are  friends, they've played soccer together for years. They spend the night with one another. I've taken him over to swim in their pool. We laugh like we used to do when we were kids, we laugh about things that happened when we were kids. Our relationship is not anything like it was, but atleast now there's a Band-Aid on what was once a gaping wound. People ask me how I can be in the same room with her and it's hard for me to answer, I really don't know. But I made my mind up to move past the hurt and the anger and part of moving past is forgiveness.

 

I was told by my Mother when I was young that we must learn to forgive people who had done us wrong in order for God to forgive us for the things we do wrong. It made alot of sense to me at an early age. But at a not so young age I've been wondering. I do believe that forgiving someone who has done you wrong is the right thing to do. It lifts the burden off of me as the injured party and shows the person who did me wrong that I am willing to let bygones be bygones. Here's where it gets sticky...I've read a few blogs tonight from people who seem to be going through some forgiveness issues themselves. And the general consensus seems to be that while it's very hard to forgive, we all think it's something we should do.

I've had the mindset that I could in fact forgive, but more often than not I'd never be able to forget. Some of the instances are forgetable in and of themselves. But when a wrong deed has gone deep into your core, forgiveness is a challenge and forgetting--well let's not even think about forgetting. Case in point: Old friend comes back from a tour of duty with the Army. She brings her husband and young daughter. She decides that 'we' have so much in common we should become bosom buddies, and quick. Everything happened so fast. One day we're a pretty boing little family of 3, the next day we have 3 new parasitic like friends standing on our doorstep every night. This old friend was hell bent on our families blending and becoming a Southern version of the TV show 'Thirtysomethings'. Ok it drove my ex freakin nuts, but it did give me a little entertainment.

I'll cut to the chase now...my 'old friend' was actually in love with my husband. I noticed certain behaviors and even questioned her about it. She'd always blow it off by saing, "Oh Shannon he's so sexy what woman could keep her eyes off of him?" Excuse me? My husband? First he's not that great, BUT he's my husband and you shouldn't be acting this way. Did my talks change her, no it didn't even slow her down. Finally my husband had enough, we'd make up lame excuses of why we couldn't play cards or have dinner. And I'll be damned a half hour later they'd show up on or doorstep. My ex had little tact and I'd begged him to be nice. Well I noticed that he was being more tolerant to them and especially him.

One afternoon while the ex was at work I was cleaning out our spare bedroom. I came across several 'notes' written on brown paper sacks, old check stubs, a french fry package...all from her. Telling him how crazy she was for him. Begging him to just spend on hour with her, blah, blah, blah. I lost my mind, called him at work and demanded he get home. In teh meantime I called her and told her she was NEVER to step foot on my property ever again. Of course she played dumb, I just hung up on her. When he got home he didn't even try to deny them. He told me that nothing had happened(ya right, like I believe that) and he was sorry but he did kind of enjoy the attention. THE ATTENTION!!! Well who the hell doesn't like attention, but you get that from your HUSBAND OR WIFE!!! Not the first floozy to come by and pay you a few compliments. Who doesn't like extra attention, but do they EVER think about the ones in the vicious circle who are left out and not getting any attention? I can tell you that feeling sucks. Whether there had been any intimate relations or not is a moot point. Both of these people have cheated in their hearts. And for the one's left sitting on the sideline, it hurts...it hurts alot. Neither of us had the perfect marriages, there were a lot of problems on both sides. But that's absolutely no excuse to throw your partner's feelings out the window just so you can feel a little better about yourself....

I'll contine the adventure tomorrow...you'll be shocked how things worked out! Stay Tuned!

I think I've mentioned before that one of my favorite TV programs is "Extreme Home Makeover". I started watching it because of Ty Pennington, who I've loved for many years on "Trading Spaces." Extreme Home Makeover can usually guarantee a Sunday night cry-fest from me. Most all of the families are very deserving and to see them be given something as beneficial as a remodeled home is really heartwarming. I'm not sure I've been able to maintain my composure through any episode. What typically starts the water-works is the gratitude and joy shown by the families.

Some families are, as my Mother would say, just plain pitiful. Tonight's family was one of those. This family of 5 had left the projects of Brooklyn and relocated to Atlanta to make a better life for all. Sadly the home they'd saved so carefully for was a disaster--a fact they didn't find out until after they'd purchased it. The septic tank had never been completely functional and everytime it rained or several had to bathe the disgusting sewage would bubble up in their basement and home. They described the odor as unbearable, but having had some sewer problems before I would guess that unbearable wouldn't really do it justice. Several times the parents had been forced to get their children up in the middle of the night to sleep in their van to get away from the stench and water. These folks desperately needed some help.

But here's my problem, the EHM crew(minus Ty initally due to having his appendix removed and still be hospitalized) comes in and has the home evaluated by health inspectors. It's decided the whole house is unsafe, which makes sense. So Ty from his hospital bed and the rest of the crew decide to just tear the house down and start over. I'm still with the plan at this time. But here's where I start to raise an eyebrow...

The plans for the new house calls for a completely new home at over 5,000 sq. ft! "WHAT? 5,000 SQUARE FEET" I find myself saying to the TV. Ok, maybe they're going to have a workshop or some sort of business out the home I missed out on earlier in the show. Nope. It's 5,000 sq. ft. of living space.The master suite is over 1,000 sq.ft. alone. Is it just me or doesn't that sound a tad extravagant? This very question has been the reason my husband doesn't like the show, he's always said it's just too much. Now not only do these nice people get a new, 5,000+ sq.ft. home they get it completely refurnished, an amazing deck area AND a brand new car. The builders of the home also throw in $100,000 for maintenance and up-keep.

By now this may sound alot like sour grapes, and I'll admit while I watch every Sunday through tears of joy I can honestly say I wouldn't mind being on the receiving end...to say nothing of hob-knobbing with Ty! But what leaves me with a tinge of bad taste in my mouth is the fact that there was an extraordinarily large amount of money spent on one family. Plenty enough money to help 2 or 3 families. Why not build 2 or 3 nice homes instead of 1 very lavish home? Do you think it's just for ratings? I think the there is alot of good motivation behind the show, but I also think that maybe they're losing sight of the big picture.

Any thoughts?

I know that I've blogged on this subject before but I just can't help the way I'm feeling right now.

I was channel surfing earlier and stopped on CNN when I saw that there was a rebroadcast of Larry King Live. Mary Kay Letourneau was the guest. I hadn't seen the original broadcast. I don't think one needs to be a rocket scientist to figure out this lady is just a few bricks short of a load, but it wasn't until I watched her tonight did I fully realize how unbalanced she must be.

I have no formal training as a psychologist, in fact I didn't excell in the class at school. I do however have a pretty decent 'take' on people and their behavior. If she'd never had an affair with a 12 year old I would have thought she was a little bit fruity! Her disturbing gaze is ever present. If you close your eyes and listen to her voice you'd think you were talking to a very shy, young girl. I've said before that I can't imagine at age 34 finding a 12 year old boy attractive, but now I think ol Mary Kay may not be far from a 12 year old's maturity level. She would giggle very quietly at some of Larry's questions and just not answer. She'd literally say nothing. He seemed a bit uncomfortable at times, I'm not sure I've ever seen him at a loss for words.

I really don't know why this whole 'teacher/student' relationship thing bothers me so badly. My husband and I were discussing it this evening and he is very blase' about it all. He doesn't see the boys as victims, rather as horny boys taking advantage of a good thing. Regardless of what you might think of the whole thing, one thing you can be sure of is that these women--Ms. Letourneau particularly--are not rational people.

To me Mary Kay Letourneau is on one end of the spectrum and Anna Nicole Smith on the other, the rest of us are somewhere in between!

I put very little stock into Astrology but must admit I enjoy reading my horoscope from time to time. Here's my horoscope for today from astrology.com:

February 18, 2005
As those great philosophers Kool and the Gang once said, 'There's a party going on right here.' Yep, that's right -- it's an astrological celebration, and one that's especially in your honor. Enjoy!

Sounds a little generic, but I'll take it!

I'm a Pisces. What's your sign? Do you fit your astrological sign profile? Do you read your horoscope daily?

Last night nobody seemed happy with what I had planned on cooking. This is not unusual for our house, some nights I cater to their wants, others I cook it and could care less if anyone at all eats. I don't mind cooking at all, in fact I love it. I am a natural born cook, I got that gene from my Mother. If there's a recipe I can make it, no matter how difficult. For a long time I couldn't understand how anyone could not cook, especially if you had a recipe. My sister doesn't have the cooking gene, she's light years from what she once was but she doesn't have the inate ability for it.

Last night I'd planned on having beef tips over rice, usually a well received dish by the herd. Apparently everyone had their tastebuds geared toward something else. We ended up having French toast, bacon and sausage. Breakfast for dinner is nothing out of the ordinary around here. We originally planned on waffles, but the waffle iron died. All in all it was a tasty, satisfying meal and everyone was happy. This bring me to my daily quandry, what to cook!

Yes there are picky eaters in the house, ok only two really picky ones, the two youngest. They are both almost exclusively carnivore's. They only recognize one vegetable in their diets: potatoes. I can occasionally force my son to eat a few green beans, and my step-son will sometimes eat corn. But neither on a regular basis. They won't eat lettuce so salads are out. The rest of us love brocolli and cheese, they won't even look at it. The rest of the family regularly eats; green peas, lima beans, spinach, carrots, yellow squash, cauliflower, okra, etc. The youngest two eat meat and starches. That's it. There's no point in 'forcing' the veggies on them, we've tried that. They'll sit there for hours and not touch them. I firmly believe they would starve to death if they didn't have their meat and potatoes. I grew up with a few picky eaters myself, both my sisters. They refused to eat any other piece of chicken but white meat. This was back in the day of 'cut-up fryers' not skinless, bonless chicken breasts. I ate nothing but running gear-legs and thighs-my whole life. I think that's why to this day I loathe chicken legs, I don't even like hot wings.

This makes menu planning one big pain in the ass! My son has never eaten an egg, any style, in his life. My step-son picks cooked onions out of my homemade spaghetti sauce. Do you think that their tastes will one day mature? Granted their future wives are gonna have it really easy if everything stays the same, the only things they'll have to master cooking is meat, potatoes, rice and macaroni. Most everynight I end up making two differnt menu's, the good stuff us mature eaters like and some sort of meat, potato or macaroni. Does anyone else deal with this kind of picky eaters and if so do you have any new menu suggestions?

Strange title for a post huh? Well as I sat here thinking about my sick children at home, a funny(ok maybe not so funny) memory came to me. After I had my daughter I went home before she did because of hospital remodeling and there was a shortage of beds. She had jaundice and required 'light therapy' to bring down her bilirubin levels. I was 21 and scared to death. But after much reassurance from the staff I left her and went to my Mother's house. I was told that I would have to have a bowel movement before I could be released, but in all the hustle of the discharging process nobody ever made sure I did that. I didn't.

The afternoon I got home a nurse from the hosptial called and said she'd been reviewing my discharge orders and saw that I had in fact not had a documented bowel movement. Busted! I really didn't see what the big deal was, I mean I figured it was only a matter of time. I couldn't have been more wrong. Each morning and afternoon my Mother and I would make the trek to the hospital to feed Jade. Three days after I'd come home I was really becoming 'uncomfortable'. I'll spare you all the gory details, but the internal plumbing hadn't been working in well over a week. My Mother called the Obstetrician and his nurse suggested a mild laxative like Milk of Magnesia.

I went to the drug store and bought my intestinal Drain-O. The directions said to take 4 to 8 pills initally. My logic was that most people had not been 'stopped up' as long as I had and since the directions did say not to take more than 12 per day, I went ahead and took 14. Hey the box says it's gentle and effective, I just wanted to speed the process up a bit. That afternoon we were on our way to feed the baby. Halfway there a jolting pain in my abdomen occured. Within minutes my brow was covered in a cold sweat! 3 miles from the hosptial I was crying and clenching my fists. My Mother kept saying, "Oh you're gonna make it don't worry!" All the while I knew in my heart I had overdosed on a laxative and this was my body's way of saving it'self. Finally at the hospital, I bolted out of the car before it even came to a complete stop. I shudder to think of how I must have looked trying to run, remember I'd had a baby less than a week before.

I did make it to the restroom, and upon entering the stall promptly cleared it of all living things. It was an agonizing 20 minutes. I apologized to every woman that came in, through my tears of shame I told of my little girl here in the hosptial and my bowel dilemma. I just wanted to crawl off and die somewhere. From that day on everything concerning the plumbing was fine. I never took another Milk of Magnesia tablet!

Today as my poor kids run back and forth to the restroom I certainly can sympathize with them!

McMinn County Schools Closed for the rest of the week.

 Tuesday, February 15, 2005 McMinn County schools will be closed until Tuesday, February 22, due to the high number of flu amongst the staff and students. Parent Conference day will still be held on on Monday February 21.

 There it is, it's official! The flu epidemic has finally made it's way to our backyard. In case you're not aware of my family, 4 teenaged boys 17,14,13,13 & 1 teenaged girl 18. Did I mention they don't really like each other? My son escaped to his Dad's for the night, my daughter has to work the rest of the week. But my stepsons, who have managed to put countless holes in sheetrock, will be left HOME ALONE. Let's re-cap some of their antics over the last year have included:

*Setting off bottle rockets indoors.

*Igniting multiple cans of WD-40

*Completely disassembling a car engine--no it didn't run but the job included taking off all 4 tires as well.

*Climbing a 30 ft. pine tree, attaching a tow rope and doing Tarzan impressions out of it.

*Writing their names in the driveway with a pressure washer.

 *Perfecting Molotov cocktails around a bonfire.

My son was involved on atleast half of these experiments, but I think the only time he was the brains behind the operation was the pine tree, tow rope incident. I looked out the window to see him saying "Ok this is the right way to do it." This from a child that crawled into the kitchen sink before he could walk. I guess I'll just have to call home every 5 minutes to make sure there's nothing going on. Is this normal 'boy' behavior? Did any of you guys do these kinds of things? Did any of you gals have brothers that did these kind of things? Are my kids truly the spawns of Satan?

First of all, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY to all! For all my single friends, HAPPY MONDAY! I've read a good many blogs of single people tonight and I echoed the sentiment about hating Valentine's Day. I remember it all too well. A couple of years ago V-Day fell on a Friday night, so me and my other spinster girlfriends decided to go out together and celebrate our single status. What a freakin mistake! All the hugged up couples surrounded by roses and red teddy bears was more than we could bear. We vowed never to do that again.

But here just a few years down the road everything is completely different. Today my husband and I celebrated our First Anniversary. We had a 'date' last night to avoid the Valentine's Day crowds and exchanged gifts earlier. I got him an accoustic guitar and he got me a diamond anniversary band and white gold earrings. We decided at Christmas to get one another small gifts since we have such a tribe to buy for and get a little more extravagant for the anniversary. Tonight I made chicken and dumplings for dinner. We ate, sat around the dining room table with the kids and talked then took pictures for the youngest son's homework assignment.

I am very thankful for my husband. We've had our share of problems in the last year but when it comes right down to it, I love him. And I know he loves me. Marriage is the single most difficult task I've ever attempted, but I have faith that the rewards will far outweigh any of the hardships.

Anyone that's read my blog in the last few weeks or so knows I am a wee bit fixated on the fact that I'll be turning 40 later in the month. Many of my friends and family think I'm making a big deal out of nothing. That takes me back 7 years ago when one of my dearest friend's turned 40. Ironically her birthday is the day before mine, she's 7 years older than me. So I called her up the morning of her birthday ( we normally talked each morning after dropping the kids off at school) and this is the way I remember the conversation going...

Me: Hey! Happy Birthday!
Deb: Ya, ya, ya
Me: What's the matter?
Deb: Well, I don't know why you're so happy.
Me: Aw, c'mon Deb it's ONLY a birthday.
Deb: Just a birthday my ass...don't force me to call you ugly names and hang up!
Me: *laughing* Look, this is the prime of your life...
Deb: Ya it's all downhill from here.
Me: You have a loving husband, two great, healthy kids and you're financially stable. There's tons of things to be thankful for. Forty is the greatest time of a woman's life, or so 'they' say.
Deb: And you're gonna be how old tomorrow?
Me: uhhh 33
Deb: Right, I'll talk to you about this in 7 years, bitch. Love ya!
Me: *hysterically laughing* I love you too!

That night we had dinner with Deb and her family and another friend and her family. Her husband had ordered her a tombstone cake with black icing! I remember she had this 'far away' look in her eyes the whole evening. She wasn't depressing so much as bewildered. I SO know what she felt. But I'm trying to be positive about the whole thing. Trying. In keeping with the "Hair over 40" post below I found the following on the Netscape homepage:

The 20 Best Looking People Over 40

George Clooney and Sandra Bullock are getting on in Hollywood years, but they topped a poll of the world's most attractive 40-year-olds.

The same week this U.S. poll listed the top 20 most attractive celebrities over 40, a U.K. poll of 1,000 men and women claims 40-somethings are enjoying the best sex ever, reports the Glasgow Daily Record.

Call it the naughty '40s.

Those in their 40s feel confident and creative about sex. Specifically, 42 percent believe they are "wiser" about sex after all these years. Fully 36 percent of men, but just 11 percent of women, said sex in the '40s was "better than ever."

The most attractive 40-something men:

1. George Clooney, 43
2. Brad Pitt, 41
3. Johnny Depp, 41
4. Mel Gibson, 49
5. Tom Cruise, 42
6. Clive Owen, 40
7. Nicolas Cage, 41
8. Gary Lineker, 44
9. Simon Le Bon, 46
10. Gary Oldman, 46

The most attractive 40-something women:

1. Sandra Bullock, 40
2. Teri Hatcher, 40
3. Michelle Pfeiffer, 46
4. Sharon Stone, 46
5. Courteney Cox Arquette, 40
6. Sheryl Crow, 42
7. Andie McDowell, 46
8. Heather Locklear, 43
9. Geena Davis, 49
10. Darryl Hannah, 44

I'd say I'm in pretty good company, huh? The men's list I pretty much agree with(even Gary Oldman, he was just too sexy in 'Dracula'...imho), the women however leave a little to be desired. In my opinion Teri Hatcher, Michelle Pfeiffer and Courtney Arquette look like Cambodian refugee's in Gucci. Time has not been kind to Darryl Hannah. Sandra Bullock is and always has been one of my favorite actresses, and beautiful. The same goes for Andie McDowell.

What do you think? Any corrections or additions?

The Long and the Short: Hair After 40

The conventional wisdom for hair after 40 is that a well-mannered middle length works for everyone. We beg to differ. Your sexiest length may be a lot longer -- or shorter -- than you thought.
No matter how great you look, if you're over 40, your hair isn't what it used to be. Hormonal changes (especially at menopause), years of chemical processing and heat styling, even dieting and smoking, can contribute to skimpier volume, a receding hairline, broken wisps around the face, and a widening part. The gradual decline of estrogen slows hair growth; it also reduces production of collagen, so hair becomes drier and more brittle and loses shine. Gray hair -- whether you color it or not -- has a coarser texture.

You can fake healthier-looking hair in the short term -- and boost hair health in the long term -- with the right products and care. What you need now, no matter what your hair's length: low-sudsing, detergent-free shampoos that are loaded with humectants; rich, nourishing conditioners; protein-based masques; concentrated silicone or botanical serums to reduce frizz and add shine; non-drying mousses and styling sprays; creams to create a body-building base for blow-drying; light, leave-in conditioners for smoothness, silkiness, and manageability.

By Lois Joy Johnson


I'm thinking maybe it's time?

Yesterday I had to get lunch on the run. I detest fast food but was starving and had no time for anything else. The small town I live in doesn't offer much variety and after careful consideration I decided on a chicken sandwich from Hardee's. For those of you who don't know what Hardee's is, it's the home of the now infamous "thick burgers." I've never eaten one because I like thin hamburgers even when I grill them at home. And with the threat of e-coli I don't trust a 17 year old to make sure the 1/2 inch thick patty is fully cooked.

Hardee's is a great place for biscuits in the morning. Great if you can afford two-thirds of your RDA of fat, cholesterol and calories in one whack. I loved them when I was a teenager but my hips can't afford them now. They also have a pretty decent deep-fried apple turnover. Atleast I think those were good too, it's been awhile.

When I got to the drive-thru it took forever to locate the sandwich I wanted. I was amazed that it alone was almost 4 bucks. I ordered and sat in line for 9 minutes. They were allegedly 'cooking the chicken'. I'd drank half of the water I'd bought for lunch while waiting. Finally the young girl with problematic skin appeared at the window and handed me this HUGE bag. I'm sure she saw the stunned look on my face as I took it from her. I didn't immediately pull off as I expected to see the wrong order in the bag. You could have fit an average sized toddler in that bag! To my shock there in the bottom of the bag was this 5x5, atleast 3 1/2 inch deep cardboard box. Inside the box was the sandwich wrapped in wax paper. The sheer enormity of the sandwich kinda scared me. It was plenty big enough for two people, maybe three.

And we as a society have to question why so many young children are obese? Atleast as a kid I got fat the right way, eating good, wholesome food...and too much of it. I wondered how many kids would eat this sandwich AND fries? What size sandwiches will these kids be eating when they're nearly 40 years old?

As I was watching 'Everybody Loves Raymond' last night I noticed that both Ray and Debra slept on these mountains of pillows. They didn't just use them to recline and read on like Carol & Mike Brady did. They laid down and drifted off to la-la land with their necks contorted on this lump of pillows.

My husband and I have very differing tastes when it comes to pillows. He likes big, firm pillows. I prefer fluffy, pliable, small pillows. We each have 3, the top one has a sham on it so it's just for decoration. We both have a 'big' pillow and a small one. He goes to sleep on the big one with the small one covering his head. I fall asleep on the small fluffy one while the big hard rock goes in the floor.

When the man leaves for work I automatically grab his small, fluffy pillow and wrap my arm around it. That hour before I have to get up is some of my best sleep. I bet he'd love to know that, huh? I always take my pillow on vacations, hotel pillows are notoriously of the rock nature. My mother makes fun of my pillow because it's so flat.  She's another one that likes the bigger pillow.

Am I the only person that likes small fluffy pillows as opposed to the big, stiff ones?

Ok I've had enough! Everyone knows I'm sick of this weather but I'll be damned if I'm going to let it ruin my life. I guess that sounds a little extreme but it's the only explanation I have for my crappy moods of late. I made that decision as I was doing the 'one knee plea' beside the porcelain god this morning. Yes, the horrible stomach bug has set up residence in my intestinal tract. Even still, I am determined to be in a better mood.

There are multitudes of people that have a much harder life than I do with a much more positive outlook, so I've decided to suck it up and BE HAPPY! For now my mantra will be: 'Don't whine, Be Happy'!

Now on a much lighter note, did anyone see 'American Idol' last night? I thought they kept some pretty crappy singers around. Did you? And what about that chick having the breakdown after going through all that she had leaving. Go figure?

I'm so sick of the weather idiots predicting warm weather. Warm weather here now translates into: cold and damp. I'm frickin freezing to death.

I want to go home, curl up in my comforter and not reappear until Spring, or something like it is here. I'm so sick of rain!!

I miss my son so much :( He's at his Dad's this week...I need to blog about that whole fiasco, but I don't wanna.

I firmly believe this weather is responsible for my rotten moods lately. Well it's time to start the bloody carpooling nightmare.

I really hope everyone is having a better day than I(Ms. Grumpy) am!

I've noticed that the numerous drug blogs have declined sharply lately only to be replaced by multiple blogs advertising vacation spots. The one that really caught my eye was "Adult Entertainment in the World of Disney." Thank goodness I had imagined the worst and the blog was mainly describing the different 'clubs' in and around Disney World.

The drug ads distrubed me alot because some of them advertised the ability to supply medications with OR without a prescription. With so many young people on tBLOG I felt like those kinds of ads were dangerous and I am very glad to see an effort to stop them.

The vacation ones are actually a little intersting and provide links to additional information. I can see where a site like that might be helpful to people planning a Summer get-away. I've traveled quite a bit in the continental U.S. and into some of Canada. I've never been to New England and that's one place I would like to go. But my dream vacation would be to Italy, particularly Venice. I've been told by people that have been there that I'd be disappointed. But I dearly love architecture and old historic sites, so I think no matter how dirty it was I'd still love it!

Where would you pick for your dream vacation?

I was just reading over some of my last blog entries and noticed a disturbing trend...my language! Now I don't want to sugar-coat this and give the impression that I am something I'm not. My mouth has always been my biggest liability. In school the only thing I EVER got in trouble for was talking. It took me several years of adulthood to learn when to keep my mouth shut. I wasn't a smart mouthed person, just terribly blunt and honest. And well if we're being completely honest, alot of my verbal commentary would be peppered with off color language.

Being a true Southern woman I've always known when to interject a heartfelt "Bless his heart", "God love 'em", "Well...I declare." And I know that there are just certain things not to say in mixed company. But I've been a little lax in my writing of late. I know I am frustrated with life in general right now, and frankly I don't know why. I suppose that frustration is evident in my blogs, lol.

I can't promise that I'll never do it again, in fact had I been talking to say a girlfriend instead of blogging I might have been tempted to have an even bigger case of potty mouth!

Have you ever had this problem?

I was just over at altrical's blog(great read btw, if you've never visited her please see the link at the left)and I made mention of my brief 3 week marriage. Here's the basic scenario

I divorce the father of my 2 children in October of '97. I discover the Internet in October '97. I somehow find my way into Yahoo chat. This was long before IM's, in order to send a private message you had so many backslahes, etc. to type a good many private messages ended up printed in the room! I was hooked immediately.

One morning after taking the kids to school I logged into chat and met a guy with the name 'paramour'...cheesy as hell but hey I was addicted. We chatted for about an hour and I was mesmerized! He wrote me a very lengthy e-mail that was in a sense an autobiography. He made no bones about the fact that he was married to a "good" woman but wasn't in love with her(I thought that was rather noble...bull!)and all about his two sons.

He was a police officer and from Maine. OMG most women would have been totally turned off by his accent but it REALLY did it for me. From there we began an intense online relationship. I was consumed with this man. He sent me flowers constantly. Called everyday. And yes, before we knew it he had purchased a plane ticket to TN. 3 months later, out of the blue, I get a 'Dear Josephine' letter. Yep, he dropped me like a hot rock. To say my heart was broken would be putting it mildly. **This was several years ago, the Internet dating phenomenon had not become as well known or widespread as it is now. My friends and family were ready to call an intervention for me!**

Fast forward to June 2000: He tracks me down online and tells me he is divorced and he had never stopped loving me. I have to be honest, I never stopped thinking about him. He told me he wanted to come here. I gave it much thought and told him I wanted him to come here also. A month later he was here. The courtship was magical. I completely expected to spend hours talking, laughing and yes being intimate. I guess I need to be hit by the 'clue bus' where men are concerned, because I thought he was trying to make our relationship as special as possible by not having sex immediately. In fact after 2 months I agreed to marry him, and we still hadn't had sex. He was a religious freak, and I mean freak. I have strong convictions, but this guy was nuts about religion and politics.

We married in January and I was like a teenager anticipating our 'honeymoon'. We didn't have sex that night, or the next night or anytime! He blamed the Prozac for his inability to manitain an erection. Of course I took it VERY personally. I am not a skank, nor am I runway model, but sheesh I've never felt so rejected in my life. He had stopped taking the Prozac a month before we got married, but junior still wouldn't snap to attention. Why did I marry this clown, you ask? I haven't a clue. With all his flaws and freakish ways there was still something about him.

3 1/2 weeks into our marriage he gave me a severe tounge lashing because I made a negative remark about Ronald Reagan. I got up out of bed, got dressed and left. I filed for divorce the next day. I can take rejection, I've had to several times in my life. But I don't think I've ever felt as badly about myself as I did coming out of that relationship. I used to hope he'd call after the divorce and confess to being gay. That way I would have known I could never be what he wanted sexually. But NOOOOO that call never came!

I so regret that impulsive, stupid decision. I should have never let him come down here. It took a couple of years to repair my very scarred ego, but I got over it. Well...sort of, I still wonder why, when he had a relatively attractive woman throwing herself at him, he could not become aroused? Prozac or no Prozac, lol.

If you have read my blog in the last couple of days you know I've been in a downright pissy mood. Today at work I was just fed up...but not really sure what I was fed up with. I had a very light workload and spent about an hour blog-hopping. It was then I realized I might be a blog snob...

...I love to read talented, witty, thoughtful blog writers. If someone writes in a manner that catches my eye, I'm hooked. But today I seemed to have clicked on 20 blogs who's authors were 19 and under. Now I'll admit I have ran upon a blog before and been very shocked and impressed to find out the author was young. This was not the case today.

While reading the first couple I roughly knew the age of the blogger but would check the profile info just to see. Midway through my reading adventure there was no need to look. First of all the language is shocking, the majority of the content is absurd...or is it? Am I really such a bitch that I cannot understand the angst of teenagers today? Or...is it the fact that I have to deal with so many of them in my real life, the last thing I want to do is read the BS? OR am I really just a blog snob?

...ever get sick of dealing with people? I'm having one of those kind of days.

The man was an asshole this morning. I think he and aliciarose's  husband have been hanging out together *sigh*

Just need to get away, me thinks.

I wasn't allowed to "car date" until I was 16. That very first date should have been a big red flag of what was to come...

It was the middle of Summer when I noticed that the crew working on the remodeling job at the house across the street were kinda cute. Well two of them were. My sister and I would ride bicycles back and forth in front of that house over and over. We weren't boy crazy, it was just intriguing. RED FLAG #2: My attraction to construction workers. Finally one of the fella's started to talk to us, the least attractive one, in my opinion.

Daffy Duck(names changed to protect the lecherous) began to come over and talk to me each afternoon when he was finished working. Then he began to call me in the evening's. He'd come over and suck up to my Mom. She thought he was a really nice guy. RED FLAG #3: Kiss of death. He worked up the nerve to ask me out a few weeks later. After much convincing my Daddy gave his permission.

It was the middle of Summer here in the lobby of Hell. Heat and humidity was at record levels. I put on this cute but modest terry-cloth shorts set. Daffy had promised a great evening. We were to go out to eat and then to a movie. He picked me up promptly at 6p.m. for my first 'real' date. I was a bit perplexed when he headed in the opposite direction of any restaurant or theatre. When I asked where we were going he simply replied, "It's a surprise." Wow I thought, what a romantic guy. Romantic my ass! Before I knew it we were on some secluded dirt road. Daffy knew all along that this was a quest for a good time, only his good time and my good time were two entirely different things. He stopped the car and kissed me. The kiss made me a little sick to my stomach...still don't know why, unless it was my intuition preparing me for what was next. He threw open his door of the Ford Gran Torino and hopped in the back seat. He then took off his pants and pulled a rubber out of his pocket. All the while I sat in the front seat looking over my shoulder in amazement.

He 'ordered' me to get in the back seat. I told him he'd lost his mind. Now here's the odd part, when I said no he didn't insist nor did he become angry. He just put his pants back on(let me say that he never took his shoes off :RED FLAG #4) and got back behind the wheel of the car. As we were driving home I asked where we were going and he responded, "I'm taking your ass home." Hmmm is this what dating is like, I thought to myself. He is awfully juvenile for 17.

I found out sometime later that Daffy actually had a learning disability. HELLO why is he driving around? I saw hime a few times after that and he'd just look in the other direction. I figured that dating had to get alot better than that first experience. Ya right!

It's raining...again. I swear to God if I lived somewhere like London or Seattle I'd blow my brains out! Nah I wouldn't go that far but you can bet I'd have a prescription for Prozac. This weather just makes me depressed, and when I get depressed I get mad. I'm mad right now. I had to leave the office to pick up the mail and ran into a guy I once went out with. The operative term here is "once". I started thinking and got madder and madder. Then I thought to myself, "hmm I should recap some of my dating disasters on my blog..."

So sit down, strap yourself in, this is gonna be one hell of a ride...

The moving saga of 'Dates From Hell' begins right after lunch!

...this is one of my favorite songs of my childhood. My parents were huge fans of The Carpenters and so was I. I remember hearing all of their songs along with the likes of; Three Dog Night, Chicago, CCR among many others on our car radio. I remember going certain places and doing certain things hearing these songs. Some of my more vivid memories are from our Summers when we'd spend each and every afternoon around the country club pool. My husband thinks I had a privileged childhood when I talk of the 'country club'. But nothing could be further from the truth. My Dad was a golf freak and the private pool gave my Mother somewhere to take the 3 kids. I had so many wonderful times around that pool. All my best frineds were there and we'd swim for 7 or 8 hours straight. One of the things I despised was that thick layer of zinc oxide my Mom would slather on my nose to prevent another blistering.

I heard this song this afternoon on the Yahoo radio thing and I was surprised at how many memories came flooding back. I was also shocked that I knew each and every word of it. Does that ever happen to you? Maybe you hear a song and before you know it you're singing every word of it?

When I was young
I'd listen to the radio
Waiting for my favorite songs
When they played I'd sing along
It made me smile

Those were such happy times
And not so long ago
How I wondered where they'd gone
But they're back again
Just like a long lost friend
All the songs I loved so well

(*) Every Sha-la-la-la
Every Wo-wo-wo
Still shines
Every shing-a-ling-a-ling
That they started to sing
So fine

When they get to the part
Where he's breakin' her heart
It can really make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more

Looking back on how it was
In years gone by
And the good times that I had
Makes today seem rather sad
So much has changed

It was songs of love that
I would sing to then
And I'd memorize each word
Those old melodies
Still sound so good to me
As they melt the years away

Repeat (*)

All my best memories
Come back clearly to me
Some can even make me cry
Just like before
It's yesterday once more

Repeat (*)

I know I'm really dating myself by posting lyrics of The Carpenters...of all people! Regardless of their 'pasted-on smiles' and pitiful wardrobe choices, I think the writing of Richard and the near flawless voice of Karen, they're some of my favorites. I hope this makes you hum a little of one of your forgotten favorites :-)